My first blog.. let's hope we don't get bored?
I have been working alongside people of whom moved to my country from India. When i started my job (my FIRST job at 16) I hoped i could be guided and helped along the way. Don't get me wrong- i was; by the owner. He (who came from KENYA and INDIA) left us in charge when he thought i was able to sustain the shop on my own (after three months) Which meant i was left to work around my manager and three colleagues (one of which no longer works here). What i have learnt from them and their culture was a respectful experience. They we'rent shy about expressing themselves. Especially as the building my work is in surrounded by workers who came from India for a better life. These people became like a family to me. The cleaner guy who passes by and say's hi every 20 minutes, the guys at the mobile stalls who taken a liking to me (one stalked me, another claimed i was in a relationship with me and another tried to kidnap me) only two of the guys there were good men in my books. One who's english is limited, another who left for london -but he was my favorite- My colleague who is female (call her 'M') was a dramatic one, acted like a teenager and is the typical Bollywood loving girl. She hoped to marry her boyfriend of eight years, but after complications her boyfriends partner's mother became impatient and forced him into an arranged marriage. When i heard this i was astounded. I thought to myself "so how can he allow his mother to control him? especially as he is 28 ears of age?" Turns out, this is their culture and they respect their parents A LOT over there. So she spent around 2-3 months in dramatic sadness. every day she'd spend her time in the back crying from a broken heart. I could only offer my shoulder. She eventually stopped working and moved away to Luton near london to assume at a pharmacy with a PHD.
I told her throughout this experience that you need to do what you think is right.
but what i wanted to say is "You need to learn that his family disregarded his feelings and forced him into a selfish arrangement for their own cause. "
yeah, it's cruel, but i didn't understand their culture then.
The more i learned about their culture the more i could understand them.
My manager has recently been engaged (he went to his parents for an arranged marriage) And when i see them together i can feel their emotions off their faces and the way they react to one-another. It's incredibly negative. Lately he didn't seem his peppy self. Pressure from the thought of his marriage is affecting him, and every time his fiance comes to talk to him, whatever they're saying, she does a big self dramatic Play and starts to dramatize a few things. She goes into the back room and cries her eyes out. When i found out what had upset her; i laugh inside. "she was feeling cold"
I want to help my boss. Why on earth does he feel like he HAS to marry? In his case his parent we'rent going to automatically put him into marriage, they were OK with him remaining single. I know for a fact that if he had freedom to do what he wanted instead of working he'd be hitched within a month. This guy is charismatic, funny, kind and willing to try new things. He underestimates himself, but he has emotional strength and will-power.
When i ask him about his religion he doesn't say much, and i question that.
But the woman (miss. M) who had left, when i asked about her beliefs she'd tell me and then with her dramatic superstitions she'd offer me some food i never tried and then skipped off thinking she'd converted me to believe there is a higher power (she knows i am athiest) Like a small child would ask you to choose which hand and if you chose the hand with cooties, you'd automatically be infected with nothingness.
My thoughts are that after learning so much about then i am no less swayed in thinking better about their belief system, because like many religion, they claim the best way of living and they commit bad.
for example leaving me to work from 11-11 on a busy saturday so they can go and have alot of food.
or even having a daughter so they don't have to discipline her. (which by the way the daughter controls the mother and gets whatever she wants and hits her uncle and mother, but the downside is that she is over weight and can hardly breathe due to her double chin. when i told them to stop bringing her to an adult area were we have to work and at least stick to the rules, they replied that their daughter must be treated as a princess..) I can tell that the child is incredibly unhappy as she has no boundaries and cries often due to confusion.
I can't say i'm not criticizing them, because i am. but all of this for me to handle as a first job is a culture shock.
I dare not raise my thoughts because i'm afraid of a kick off. but who cares ? well, me.
this was just an intro blog. i was just reminiscing and thought i should share it. :o
next blog will be more thought out and have a better point.
its going to be harsh against belief though.