Jesus Christ, Uwe Boll, can't you learn from past mistakes.

Uwe Boll is pretty much universally known as the Director who can't get anything right.

All of his movies have sucked balls, and he doesn't learn from his mistakes. He suffers from crap actors, crap editing, crap camerawork, and crap directing.

But there was one movie that I wanted to enjoy. I really wanted to like this movie. In the Name of the King, A Dungeon Siege Tale.

He came within an inch of having a decent film. He had good camerawork, he had good actors... okay, Burt Reynolds was a strange choice for king, but it worked, he's a solid actor. Same with Ron Pearlman, and Jason Stathom, both of whom where well suited for a medieval tale of badassery. The script however had strange and forced language, and there were things that really just didn't fit the scene. A medieval King with a squadron of ninjas. Right....

But I watch this film every now and then, and it gets so fucking close to being enjoyable it's not even funny.

And it has a sequel, well, kinda. The entire world is different, though it's supposed to be the same place. Dolph Lundgren is the badass this time, looking way too natural in his armor, but the dialog suggests that the part was written for Steven Segal. Full of cheesy one liners that don't fit the character at all. Again, the dialog is forced, and the talent is crap, the props... The props are okay, but the king has the worst Toupee I've ever seen.

Uwe, seriously. Find a film critic, and a better director, and have them sit down with you and watch all of your movies. Have them point out anything that is stupid, poorly done, or ridiculous. Write it down in a notebook, and title it, "Shit I won't do again." It's that simple.

Views: 45

Tags: Bad, Dolph, King, Uwe Boll, films, movies

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