What sort of person comes to mind when you read this list:



Unhealthy relationships with men

Setting and keeping boundaries

Compulsive behavior

Poor impulse control

Diminished ‎self-worth

Abandonment issues

‎Helping others at the cost of self

Emotions of anger, sadness, and loss

Views: 172

Comment by Simon Paynton on October 21, 2015 at 1:20pm

Someone who was badly used, abused and rejected as a child, who has depression and low self-esteem. 

Comment by Davis Goodman on October 21, 2015 at 7:34pm

Someone who would benefit greatly with cognitive therapy.

Comment by Strega on October 22, 2015 at 8:44am
I'm curious as to why you list a seemingly positive attribute of "setting and keeping boundaries" alongside attributes that might need addressing to improve overall wellbeing.
Comment by Belle Rose on October 22, 2015 at 10:14am
I didn't actually write this, but I know it was intending to say "inabilitY to set and keep boundaries."
Comment by Strega on October 22, 2015 at 10:24am
Interesting. Oddly I think the list is geared towards women. It's not that I don't believe men have these issues, it's just that they are less orientated towards negative self analysis, most probably as a result of insidious pressure from society. For example, go to Google and type in "women should" and see what the list of top searches produces. Surprised? I doubt it.
Comment by Belle Rose on October 22, 2015 at 10:33am
What would change (in your mind) if I changed the first one to "Unhealthy relationships with women." ?
Comment by Simon Paynton on October 22, 2015 at 10:39am

I think most of this applies to men as well, except instead of "helping others at cost of self" you get "controlling and dominating". 

Comment by Belle Rose on October 22, 2015 at 12:25pm
Why do you think that women would "help others at cost of self" and men would "become dominating and controlling" as the only difference here? Could men help others at the cost of self, and women become dominating and controlling?
Comment by Unseen on October 22, 2015 at 9:06pm

What would change (in your mind) if I changed the first one to "Unhealthy relationships with women." ?

Nothing. This is because an unhealthy relationship is almost always (maybe always always) unhealthy on the part of both.

Comment by Simon Paynton on October 24, 2015 at 5:33am

@Belle - from my own limited meagre experience, this is the pattern I observe.  Men tend to respond to abandonment and not getting their needs met as children by trying to control those around them, women respond by trying to get people to love them, or with passive aggression. 

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