The past year or so, I’ve been questioning everything that I knew to be infallible; mainly religion. Raised as a Roman Catholic, then later a converted Christian, I was told not to question. I wasn't allowed to question why we were Catholic. I hated it. It was creepy, and I never felt comfortable confessing my sins to a man behind a screen. I wasn't allowed to question why we changed from Catholic to Christianity. I wasn't allowed to question anything I learned from either religion and now then I got annoyed. I thought what kind of loyalty was supposed to feel? Everything that was once fail-proof to me was compromised and I began to question it all.
It seemed no matter what I did, I was sinning in one way, shape, or form. Going to school, I acquired debt. Being sexually active with a boy I spent years with was sin. (I lived with him too.) Being a democrat, and being pro-choice, supporting birth control, I mean, I could go on forever. The normal redundancy of the Christian religion doesn't satisfy me anymore. The preaching of self-condemnation being a sin, but we’re supposed to feel bad about everything anyway, right? I'm not one to knock what other people believe, but at the same time I can't believe that so many "intellectual" people have allowed themselves to be bullied into not questioning the very thing we live our lives by. It really makes me wonder: are they choosing to remain in the dark, or do they really believe this crap? Choosing to be ignorant, how can one trust that person to make any rational decisions?
I have come to find out that there so many philosophers and other great thinkers that shared the same questions that I do when it comes to religion. I truly feel as though not questioning religion, in a way, promotes the worst kind of ignorance. Wouldn't everyone appreciate it if all of their doubts, worries, and fears about what they believe in were put to rest? How can that ever be if we are not allowed to ask questions? How can one "cast all cares upon him," when we aren't supposed to have doubts, worries, or fears? If God gave me this life to live freely, and to have free-will then he gave me the right to question everything. It's detrimental to our growth overall. "I call an animal, a species, an individual corrupt, when it loses its instincts, when it selects and prefers that which is detrimental to it."- Nietzsche, (The Antichrist.) I also think selecting to ignore your instincts is in fact total self corruption. It’s almost sadistic in a way.
I have made the choice not be uneducated about the truths that are out there. I will remain open minded and not exclude what I don’t understand. I will make an effort to listen and learn. I will explore and not let my family, friends, our society trick, guilt, or pressure me into going against my gut. I am searching for truth and look forward to the meeting awesome new people on my journey.