y, my kid started in a new class room. He is nearing 3 years old in February and already he is ready to move to another class. Now if he can learn to dress and undress himself (besides fully achieving “pottiness”) like the other children he will be on his way. I was so worried about how to teach him to do certain things mainly the basics such as manners, dressing, socializing, but I'm discovering he is learning from the herd. Ah, yes, learning from the herd. The herd comes by any name. Herd of school, herd of government, herd of religion, class, race, gender, all groups are herds. You learn from the herd you most relate to or want to relate to. Acceptance and survival. Two guarantees in all herds you can always count on.
Acceptance that the sheep in the herd will accept you if you look like you want to conform. That could be perming your hair, tanning, wearing crosses, smoking cigarettes. You are in our club but you don’t get a sticker yet because you have to survive in this herd as well. Oh yes. Just because they let you in does not mean you are one of them. You have to go to the in-laws for Monday night dinner every Monday night for life. You have to swear off pork and never touch a succulent pig foot with Red Hots again. You have to prove yourself. You have to prove your worthiness and loyalty. Once you survive them then they can help you survive from the outsiders. This reminds me of bubbles. You squirt disinfected liquid soap on your hands, add water and friction. That’s right. The more friction there is the more bubbles that form, same as in human behavior. I will expound on that another time.  But it amazes me how the way herds function.  Herding can produce positives and negatives. It can build mighty structures and kill nearly every living thing in sight. But no matter how hard you try to separate yourself from the herd there will always be another herd waiting for you with their arms stretched wide open. This makes me feel sad sometimes, especially when you just want to be alone.  But the key word is survival. Without the herd would you exist?


I will continue this discussion on my blog at


Thanks for your support and Happy New Year!

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Comment by lloydleroimiller on March 14, 2011 at 11:55pm

Hey, btw, thank you for your kind words, i too, am moved by it. I really love open, confident people.  Hey I really have an opinion on the herd thing you mention.

If your child hopes to become well adjusted to whatever it takes him to have "acceptance and Survival"  I'd would say a necessary place on that road is the herd.  The sooner that is comfortable, the sooner then is the opportunity to begin to teach the next absolutely necessary spot on that road. That is, of course, the irrelevance of the way of the herd. I have some experience here. Granted, my daughters are brainiacs,  but the road to truth is still the same.  I like to imagine a paradigm change in the way we teach our children, our students. Imagine teaching every possible answer, the merits and shortfalls, the evidence, but not answers.  Those are to be found by the student while examining what others have found.  I hope I make sense, I also hope to remain friends, I would love to pick your brain. If only to see, perhaps something I have missed, overlooked or not yet thought of. Nothing is more exciting than online thinking/sharing. I always feel like I may have found another person of extreme curiosity, awesome stuff.


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