I think what spurred me to really start thinking about what I believe is when I witnessed my sister telling my 5 year old niece that Santa wasn't real but Jesus was. What was worse, later my niece recited it back to me. I felt sad that her mind is so vulnerable and is being filled with the nonsense that her mom wanted to spill into it. I wanted to shake my sister and yell in her face that what she was doing was ridiculous! Neither Santa for God are real!
Uhg, so here I am on this quest to find out what's real. I've made up my mind that I am a God-less heathen and I am happy with that decision. Where I'm at now is picking apart how I act and what I believe and trying to see how much of that is dictated by my Pentacostal upbringing. I don't want to be hindered by beliefs that we spilled into my vulnerable mind. I want to live for me and not under the constant fear of hell anymore. Mind you, I'm not wanting to go out and rob a bank or kill someone. I just want to make sure I'm living according to what I think is right and not what the church told me is right.

Views: 0

Comment by Kenndy on January 5, 2009 at 3:16pm

I am glad you joined Erica :)
Comment by Dave G on January 5, 2009 at 3:48pm
Welcome, Erica!
Comment by Frink on January 5, 2009 at 6:30pm
Enjoyable read.
Comment by Oz Atheist on January 5, 2009 at 7:05pm
Brainwashing takes a long time to get over, but is sounds like you are well on your way.
Amazing that years later I sometimes still catch myself saying "thank god", even though I know there is no such thing.

It's quite surprising how people can think God is real but not Santa
Comment by Cara Coleen on January 5, 2009 at 7:21pm
Oooh, Pentecostal even. I've had a lot of experience with that denomination... in fact, I attended a Four Square church that was founded by Pentecostals. Yeah... traumatizing stuff, that speaking in tongues and falling over after being slain in the Spirit. I thought there was something wrong with me for the longest when I couldn't speak in tongues (it boils down to me refusing to fake it, which totally made me suspect other people).

Welcome, Erica. :) I have to say I'm really beginning to love this site!!!
Comment by DJ on January 6, 2009 at 11:05am
I'll see your Pentecostal and raise you a Mormon upbringing. And don't look at myself as being a 'godless heathen'. I am what I was before I was programmed to be something else. I'm human, no more, no less. And I'm fine with that.

Wait, I'm starting to sound like Jack Handy...
Comment by Erica on January 6, 2009 at 11:31am
Well, I don't literally think I'm a heathen. It's just an extreme word I used because I think it's funny. And you totally win with the Mormon thing. ;-)
Comment by DJ on January 6, 2009 at 9:45pm
Heh. Yeah, the Mormon's are interesting. However, I've still got a few very close Mormon friends, which is difficult for me because I'm kind of PG to X rated when I speak (think David Cross and Patton Oswalt). Whenever I'm around them I try and keep it G. The things you do for friends sometimes. Fuck.

Oddly enough these guys were the same guys who helped me get out of the church in the first place! It's a strange world.
Comment by Helen on January 6, 2009 at 10:39pm
This is the same problem I have with youth groups. Honestly, it's just not right to raise a child with such ideas because they are so gullible. I mean, I believed in the Y2K scare. Mind you, I was only eight years old at the time. Haha. Anyways, I totally understand your frustration.
Comment by a7 on April 12, 2009 at 11:44pm
as I tell my children, at least Santa visits once a fucking year.

George

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