I've hit a wall. I'm back home, no job, just graduated, no friends (yet). My boyfriend is 750 miles away. I do have my family, but they don't really understand. They want to, and they're trying. I'm stuck at home by myself with nothing but the internet to keep me company. No job means no gas money or fun money.

I think I understand why people stay with religion. I can't say I've ever faced adversity like this before, and saw no real reason to believe in anything before. Things are slowly going downhill for me. Yes, I am being a pity party here. I've never, ever, ever had this sort of feeling or problem.

I have never wanted to be part of religion, I have never wanted to go to church, I have never wanted so much to be involved in a community like that.

I know the dangers of organized religion, I know the irrarionality that comes with believing in that sort of thing and I couldn't bring myself to actually doing it.

But I miss being with people. I miss having a common thread, I miss hanging out, I miss talking with people. I'm going crazy here in my house and there's nothing I can do about until I get a job.

I guess all this is to say I get why people stay with religion. I would be much happier believing at least a god
who loved me was hanging out here with me in my house. I'd have someone to talk to, someone to ask for advice. But the fact that I don't and can't believe in something like that only makes my time home alone that much more sucktastic.

I feel like I'm going crazy, guys.

Views: 28

Comment by Robert Karp on June 28, 2011 at 3:28pm

Mallory thank you for sharing that.


Being alone is hard and I'm sorry you are struggling. In my opinion, the things you miss about god and religion, are not exclusive to being part of a religious community.  Everyone likes to be involved with something. A community, a club, a social group. Perhaps you can look to those things? I know you said you have no gas for your car. What about writing? Maybe write a book? A song? Time alone can be hard but i do not think you will find your answers in god. If you need advice come here. Talk to us. We are your community. And btw talking to yourself does not mean you are crazy, as my grandfather said "some of the best conversations I've ever had are with myself".  Anyway, don't know if any of that helped but know you're not alone.

Comment by Jacob LeMaster on June 28, 2011 at 4:27pm

Keep Mallory Sane Skype Parties? :)

Comment by Robert Karp on June 28, 2011 at 4:31pm
Heck yes!!!
Comment by Mallory on June 28, 2011 at 6:00pm
I'm digging the Skype party idea!! I've got my skype on my profile.

@Flower, that sounds like a wonderful idea, only thing is I can't afford to get gas in my tank to get to those places...
Comment by Jacob LeMaster on June 28, 2011 at 6:19pm
Corvis29 Is my Skype.. Didn't see yours on your page
Comment by Andrew Irvine on June 28, 2011 at 6:21pm
I'm unemployed at the moment too, it hasn't been long so I'm still enjoying the rest. I have skype on my profile too if anyone wants company.
Comment by Mallory on June 28, 2011 at 6:41pm
I think I have my privacy set so that only people who are friends with me can see that info.
Comment by W. Shawn Refvem on June 29, 2011 at 1:48pm
You should look and see if there are any local Atheist groups around. I moved to a new state and did not know anyone. Quickly I became bored and felt I had nothing to keep me occupied. After searching on the net I came across a Free Thinker's group in my area. Some of the nicest and nonjudgmental people I have ever met are a part of this local group. They have many activities every week and almost all of them are free. As for transport, well my car was in the shop for a couple weeks and many of the members immediately offered rides to meetings and events. Hang in there, things will look up soon. Take Care and Good Luck. Shawn.


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