I'm lucky I suppose. I don't feel like there's anything wrong with me. Other people sometimes tell me there is. But from the inside I feel like I'm doing fine. I'm functional.

 

I mean, I have my "things". Like I feel uncomfortable hanging clothes on the line using two different coloured pegs, or cooking while someone else is in the kitchen, or being in my lounge with more than four other people, or making small talk with people on the street...

 

But nothing like the story JT movingly shared at Skepticon. I have nothing similar to express. Any problems I have are insignificant in comparrison.

 

I needed counselling after my grandfather died. He practically raised me and he was the lynchpin to my life. Nothing made sense without him for a while. I had to be dragged to counselling kicking and screaming and I don't remember a word of what was said in the sessions. Back then I was religious and superstitious and the unfairness of the loss hit me hard. To this day the idea that religion is a comfort in hard times seems counter-intuitive to me. That just was not my experience. Since "losing" my faith I have also lost my fear of death and my sense of betrayal when something bad happens. That's the real comfort in my eyes!

 

I refused to take medication. Something I still feel strongly and irrationally. Though at the moment I feel like there is nothing I'd need to take it for. Sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I'm lonely, sometimes I feel trapped... but most of the time I feel ok. I feel functional.

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