"I Am a Young Muslim. I Found Out That My Girlfriend Is Not Pure. Now I Want To Kill Myself."

A great letter I came across. A young Muslim Pakistani boy finds out his girlfriend wasn't a virgin, and e-mails a psychologist threatening suicide. The psychologist's answer is awesome.


Perhaps reading this account of the terrifying, inhumane, and repressive situation in your country shocks you, and you may feel that I am being unfair to Pakistan or to Islam, but my intention is neither to discredit Pakistan nor to insult Islam. I simply must start with these facts if I am to address your question in an honest and useful way. And, by the way, everything I have laid out above, both about child sexual development and about Pakistani culture, is factual—not my opinion, but facts which are indisputable and widely known.

Just as a fish, having been born in water and always having lived in water, does not ever realize that it is swimming in water, it may be difficult for you to see that you and your girlfriend are swimming in an environment of belief which totally demonizes and represses normal sexuality, and which makes normal human sexual development a crime and a so-called "dishonor," but that is a fact, and you must try to grasp it if I am to help you.


You say that she broke your trust because she lied to you about her previous boyfriend, but what choice did she have? If she had told you the truth, you would not have accepted it because you can only imagine yourself being with a "pure" girl. Not only that, Mir. If she had told you the truth she would have risked all the terrible things that can happen to a Pakistani woman if she is found out to be "impure." In effect, her culture and its life-denying, human nature-denying beliefs forced her to lie, just as your sad cultural indoctrination and your life-denying, human nature-denying beliefs are forcing you to reject her now simply because she had a life before the two of you got together. This is just another of what I call the "terrible consequences" of the barbaric, unrealistic, life-denying culture of Islam, not only in your country, but all over the so-called "Islamic world," which is really a medieval world with medieval values which sadly have lasted into the twenty-first century.


Your girlfriend did not want to break up with you. She cares for you—as you well know—just as you care for her. She is attracted to you—sexually attracted—just as you are attracted to her. You forced her to break up with you because you refused to accept her as she is, a person with normal sexual desires which she began to explore with someone else before meeting you. Your lack of acceptance is one of the causes of her guilt because when you questioned her over and over again, and when you rejected her as "impure," your words, those of a Pakistani male, carried the entire weight of the life-denying Islamic religion with them. I don't know if you, Mir, had any sexual experiences (other than masturbation, that is, which I am sure you did lots of) before meeting her, but I am certain that, if you did not have them, you would have had them if you could have. Satisfying sexual curiosity, and experiencing the need for sensuality and closeness—which I explained begins when the child sucks at the breast--is what human beings do unless they have been completely indoctrinated and broken by Islam, orthodox Judaism, fundamentalist Christianity, or some other life-denying system of belief.

His answer is a little long, you can read the full burn here.

Views: 1464

Comment by Unseen on April 15, 2013 at 7:29pm

Lisa Liu is on my dream date list, and she looks about as Chinese as can be.

Comment by Kairan Nierde on April 15, 2013 at 7:34pm

Back on topic...I wonder what the boy ended up doing? Would love a follow up on this. Hopefully he hasn't committed acts of violence (suicide or homicide) and perhaps the psychologist's response shocked him into thinking critically about his culture...  Or he may have turned to Islam for to validate his reaction, reinforcing his hatred of sexuality and women's freedom. Would really like to know where he is now...

Comment by _Robert_ on April 15, 2013 at 9:00pm
  • Here lies the body of Mary-Lee.
  • Died at the age of 103.
  • For 13 years she kept her virginity.
  • Not a bad record for this vicinity.

Quint, from JAWS

Comment by Logicallunatic on April 15, 2013 at 9:23pm

Islam is a pox on humanity.

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 16, 2013 at 3:18am

Comment by Dr.Grixis on April 16, 2013 at 9:32am


I do think that even in the Netherlands, the Muslim population (in general) is a lot more sexually repressed than the rest of society. 

If I want to piss off a Muslim (and yes, that does happen from time to time) I only have to mention that they hate gays so much because of their own insecurity towards their own feelings towards men and they explode.

Too easy, too funny.

Another one is to mention to them that Western society has pornography, Indian society has the Kama Sutra, and all you guys have is a prophet that fucked a 9 year old.

Comment by kOrsan on April 16, 2013 at 9:37am

Some of the pathetic apologists will deny the kid-fucking though.

Comment by Dr.Grixis on April 16, 2013 at 9:57am

Some of them are proud to follow in his footsteps, and still do this today.

Comment by Simon Paynton on April 16, 2013 at 4:03pm

It's the same among polygynous mammals throughout the animal kingdom - the males insist on controlling the reproductive rights of the females. 


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