Laying in bed staring into a black abyss of darkness. I think to myself what's the point? We're born, we live, we die. Why? What's the point? Is there a god? If there was why would he do this and why would god be male if gender supposedly doesn't matter?

What's the point? We laugh, we smile, we do things we love.. but everything ends. Nothing lasts forever. Once everything is said and done it doesn't really change anything. We're born alone, we die alone, the in between I wish I could say is a choice whether to be happy or sad.. but some people don't have a choice. Depression grips their heart in its black icy claws. Anxiety traps their minds in a cage of fear.

I laugh, I love, and I live to the fullest but at the end of the day I'm alone. We all are. People once they hear you are depressed jump at the chance to help. It doesn't work that way. You can't say you care but as soon as it gets hard, leave. That's not how its supposed to be.. but it is. This is life now. People claim to help and sometimes they do but truly depression and anxiety can only be overcome by the one suffering.

"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one remembers to turn on the light." I love so many people and there is where anxiety and depression slap me. I love them so much and don't want to burden them with my feelings because they don't deserve to suffer because of me. Anxiety stops me reaching out to my family. My mother has no idea. I've only cut once but will never do it again. I know I'm not vain so it's okay for me to say I am strong in a way. I am strong enough to write this. I'm strong enough to reach out to others suffering and help them because I fucking know how it feels.

I feel like if we had messages in our souls mine would be what's the point? What's the fucking point? Why are we living. We destroy the planet, force innocent animals into extinction that were here first and for what? This gives me fear of ever having children, I never want them to go through this. I also feel selfish in wanting them purely because I want someone to own. I want someone that won't leave, not for a while anyway. I don't know.. maybe I'm just an over dramatic teenage girl on her period. But fucking hell I didn't know.

Anxiety, depression, and insomnia had me until recently. I love everyone and hate everyone. People who don't care and destroy everything deserve to die and people who care and love and cherish and help want to die so why not just kill the human race? Ugh sorry too far? I'm sorry, Its just how I feel.

I hope this helps anyone and I hope nobody reads this and cries. I never meant to hurt anyone. I just want world peace, is that too much to ask for? But then again.. what's the point?

Views: 142

Comment by Unseen on June 12, 2016 at 2:35pm

Yes, teen girls feel things overly deeply. Feeling that way doesn't help. Don't feel as though the world's problems are on your shoulder, that it's your job all on your own to save the planet. Just make your contribution and feel good about that.

Comment by Simon Paynton on June 14, 2016 at 4:32pm

The point is right now

Comment by Simon Paynton on June 15, 2016 at 5:18am

I think it's important to have goals and a passion in life. 

Comment by Strega on June 15, 2016 at 9:47am
Hi Jazmine! Have you ever seen a Japanese ice carving? They are incredibly intricate and beautiful... and then they melt. What is the point of carving such a beautiful sculpture with minute detail, if it's just going to melt? Perhaps it's the transient nature of beauty itself that is the point.
Comment by Unseen on June 15, 2016 at 1:14pm

Strega, Tibetan monks take days making gorgeous intricate sand mandalas and then they destroy them. They say it's a reminder of the transience of life.

Comment by TJ on June 16, 2016 at 11:22am

Fireworks, a sunset, etc, are short and, worth while.

If you lived forever, what would the point of that be?  There would be no time frame to do anything, just endless existence. 

That could be worthwhile too, if you make it so.

Being depressed is of course going to rob people of the ABILITY to appreciate what they have, what they can accomplish, and those they love and love them.

So, for example, you COULD say "People are starving, why be born into a world where people are starving?!"

"People are destroying the planet! Why be born into a world being destroyed!?"

or

BE born into a world where people ARE starving, and, try to feed them.

Try to save the planet.

People are social critters...we naturally "group".  The more people wanting to fix something, the more OTHER people will join them.

One man cannot fight and defeat a nation...but, joined with others, they can BE a nation.

If extremists hi-jack a religion, the non-extremists have to fight to get it back.  If people are starving, others have to rally to get them food, and so forth.

You only have ONE LIFE.  THAT is the point, its up to you to do what you can with it.

If depressed, that is your handicap.  If you had no legs or arms, that would be another handicap.

Some people with no arms and legs still make a contribution to society.  Some of our best writers suffered from depression. 

You work with what you have...and, just do your best to make the world a better place...that is the point.

You EXIST.  What you try to do with that gift is up to you.

:)

Comment by Simon Paynton on June 16, 2016 at 12:02pm

I always think the point of life is long term flourishing.  But "The Power of Now" is very real too. 

Comment by Unseen on June 16, 2016 at 1:52pm

@TJ

If you lived forever, what would the point of that be?  There would be no time frame to do anything, just endless existence. 

Zen, of course, is non-theist, and can be viewed as not a religion at all, but as an approach to living, and so it's possible to be a Zen atheist. Alan Watts, the philosopher who was a major Zen popularizer, pointed out that an eternal life would be like a painting or song that would never be finished. Being finished gives a life meaning. 

Bizarrely, perhaps, that is also the view of existentialism. Sartre: "Existence precedes and rules essence." Only when your existence ends, when your life is complete, does your life obtain an essence. Why? Because, for example, you could life a life of total virtue then at the end you abuse and murder a child. Contrariwise, you could live a totally misanthropic life, then you die while saving another. In other words, you are revising your essence every waking moment of your life.

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