How do you tell the person your dating that your a Agnostic/Atheist?

Hello everyone,

I just joined Think Atheist and have finally got the courage to stand for my own beliefs.

But my girlfriend believes in God and is a devout Catholic. She once told me that she

didn't know how she could have a relationship with me if I didn't believe [in god]. So...

I don't know what to tell her, and I don't want to lie to her anymore. Any suggestions?

Views: 201

Tags: dating, life, religion

Comment by Robert Karp on August 29, 2011 at 1:04pm

Be loving, be caring and be respectful of what she believes and begin the conversation that way, however, also be honest in your convictions and proud of your non-belief. If she loves you, she will accept you for who you are as you will accept her.

Comment by David Liebovitz on August 29, 2011 at 1:31pm

Be honest...to her and to yourself...

Comment by Doug Reardon on August 29, 2011 at 2:11pm

If she can't accept you for who you are, move on.

Comment by Ruby Ann Parga on August 29, 2011 at 3:40pm

It surprised me that she said she'd actually break up with me over something like this, she didn't seem like that type of person. But I'm gonna be honest with her so when the time comes I'll tell her the truth. Hopefully she'll be understanding but if she really does break it off like she said she would... well then I guess I will have to move on. I hope it doesn't turn out that way though. Thanks everyone for your input :)

Comment by Crystal Patronyme on August 29, 2011 at 6:31pm

Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a person who was a Christian. The reason I feel this was is: They believe you're going to hell unless you convert/repent/etc. Why would you want to be with someone who believes in an afterlife(heaven) in which you cannot be part of (because according to Christians, non-believers go to hell)? I'm not the most profound, but those are my thoughts. I hope the best for you!

Comment by Don Leonard on August 29, 2011 at 10:44pm
I agree with Doug. If she cant accept it then there will be alot of problems. My fiance is lutheran but she accepts my atheism. I try to talk to her about my views but she dont want to hear them. I told her its because I will turn her into an atheist also. If she is such a devout catholic ask her if she has ever read the bible. I consider it a disgusting book and if it was made imto a movie it would have to be rated X. It scares mecthat our children are brainwashed into believing it all as being true and historical.
Comment by Artor on August 30, 2011 at 12:00am

I had a born-again gf once, and she would never stop trying to convert me. We talked about comparative religion, and she got offended when I referred to Xtian mythology, because it's all historical fact, you know. Eventually, she realized I wasn't going to be tempted by promises of a non-existent afterlife, and her Xtian morality re-asserted itself. We broke up, and within 6 months, she was married & pregnant with someone who was willing to accept Jeebus.

If your girlfriend is adamantly against accepting reality and factual evidence, it's hard to imagine a relationship lasting with someone who values rationality. Best to bring things up politely & as respectfully as you can. Let her understand that she really needs to decide between you or Jeebus. If she doesn't "know how she could have a relationship with me if I didn't believe [in god]." You can point out that she's been doing just fine while you haven't been believing in god. Why should it change now?

Comment by Ethan Levy on August 30, 2011 at 1:12am

there is no right time, just go for it, honestly if she dumps you she is missing out on a wonderful person (i hope you are bc i don't know you) i rather be told the truth than lied to but again she is religious so lying about the truth is probably her thing...

Comment by Frankie Scott on August 30, 2011 at 6:35pm

That is a sticky situation. But in my opinion, the best choice is always to be true to yourself. No matter what the consequences are. You will always be happier that way.

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