Homophobic Coworkers Trolling--To Get Me To Come Out

Gah, this is so jacked up. I don't know what to do. I need some advice guys, because I can't loose this job too. I haven't been on here in a while because I've been pretty wrapped up in finding a decent job, but I hope some of the regulars are still around with their usual wit and wisdom. This blog post is going to be a rant, but please give it a look-see.

My new coworkers are obsessed with the sexuality of the guy I just replaced and they've been talking about 'how it totall makes sense because, of x,y, and z,' or 'of course he's gay, he wouldn't even lift a finger to help us move this big heavy thing.' It's been stereotype after stereotype and even a gem of a joke about me catching AIDS from his office supplies. Joy!

Today one of them went off on a short rant about how 'He should have told us. It's not a big deal but if you don't say you are gay, it makes it weird. It's not weird unless you don't say you're gay, then it's weird.' Whole time she's standing up in her cubicle and staring at me...I'm thinking, 'whaaaat... you are making this very weird!'

Maybe this poor sap didn't want to come out because of all the shit they tend to say about gay men. That's part of why I don't want to come out...because I don't want to fuel their nasty gossip any further. On the other hand, maybe they could just get over it then.

But I'm a private person and I don't feel like it's their business at all. I am pissed that they're making such a big deal about it. I look like a dyke, I'm not (I'm bisexual and genderqueer), but they don't get to hear the juicy details of my personal life because my haircut and clothes make them feel uncomfortable without a nice, tidy little lable to slap onto me. Jesus christ on a corn cobb, get a life, people, it shouldn't be this big of a deal--there are plenty of masculine, dyke-looking people in other departments. This isn't the 1980s.

What would you do? I'm three weeks in as a contract worker with very little information about the corporate culture here, an ambiguous chain of command, absentee managers, and a bunch of harpies out for my brilliantly rainbow-colored blood. And of course, ya'll will be pleased to know that there are daily send ups to Tha Lord going on here. I am surprised they haven't caught the scent of a heathen in their midst...won't that be fucking lovely (that happended at the last job)! Seriously though, I have no idea what to do.

There's not a person in out department who can be legitimately questioning whether or not I'm queer... Maybe I ought to come in tomorrow wearing flannel, baggy cargo pants, and a giant rainbow cape to announce that I have something to tell everyone: "guys, I'm sure you've already guessed, but I'm...not at all interested in discussing my sexuality with you." 

Am I wrong here...is there some unwritten rule about discolsing your sexuality when you start a new job?  I like this job. I'm good at it. I want to stay here a while. I even like my silly co-workers when they aren't gossiping and talking crap about us queers. They have nice personalities and are fun to talk to, so long as they keep it civil.

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Comment by Pope Beanie on November 22, 2014 at 2:54am

Thanks GM. I looked up skimlinks (back in April) and think you're right. Somehow it just disappeared by itself. It didn't look damaging, so I let it go. If it loves me, it'll come back.


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