Intellectually I don't believe a God could exist. Scientifically and Mathematically its just not possible for every human to have the undivided attention of one particular God. Maybe this will be proved wrong one day, but for now it makes sense. Shamefully however, I have sometimes chose to believe in God even though intellectually I could not justify the existence of such.
I thought it was due to the fact that I have a fatalistic personality and I thought that if I believed in my heart that there was no God, I would lose the will to live. Life would seem pointless and cruel because there really isn't a reason for everything. It is hard thinking that we suffer for nothing. In my deepest moments of despair I would cry and wish God into existence because I hunger for some sort of justice in this messed up world.
Now I see that I am strong enough to face the truth. I am no longer that little girl who needs a heavenly Daddy to keep me safe. I am free of religion and I am happy. If we want justice, we must fight for it in this lifetime. We must seek to eliminate suffering in this life and not just hope to pull through the suffering and reach some next life, which may or may not exist.