God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy--'No,' Says God

From the wonderful parody site The Onion:


Said Angela Schlosser, a day nurse who witnessed the Divine Manifestation: "An incredible, booming voice said to Timmy, 'I am the Lord thy God, who created the rivers and the mountains, the heavens and the earth, the sun and the moon and the stars. Before Me sits My beloved child, whose faith is that of the mustard seed from which grows mighty and powerful things. My child, Timmy Yu, I say unto you thus: I have heard your prayers, and now I shall answer them. No, you cannot get out of your wheelchair. Not ever."




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Comment by Steve M on January 23, 2011 at 5:16pm

God seems to not want to help amputees either. When I mentioned this to a guy who was expounding on the power of prayer in healing cancer he was temporarily flummoxed. I told him some lizards can grow their tails back. Why hasn't God given us this power. He muttered something about every creature having been given special gifts and that was not in our tool kit.

 By the way. You know how God works in mysterious ways and all. What if he is trying to help little  Timmy by giving us stem cell research to find a cure and his ignorant followers are thwarting his will.

Comment by Heather Spoonheim on January 23, 2011 at 6:32pm
I do believe that every creature has been given special gifts and that some things are not in our toolkit - it's called evolution!
Comment by Steve M on January 25, 2011 at 6:07pm
Evolution? Evolution? As one of my Christian co-workers once stated " People whats believes in evolution is morons".   Pretty eloquent wouldn't you say?


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