Today I'm homeless again by choice this time.
For the past several months I've been working in this recycling factory West of St. Louis, MO. During that time I lived with two guys I worked with at this factory in an extended stay hotel near where we work. We all paid rent to stay in this hotel.
The two men I lived with are very clearly drug addicts. So I ended up smoking meth with them during the day and drinking vodka with them at night. We would get up early for work. So at 5 a.m. I'd be smoking meth with them before going to work.
And I did very well working in this recycling factory. The managers there liked all of the strength and energy I gave them, regardless if I had drugs in me or not.
Meth by the way is an interesting drug. I never really felt high while on meth, but the drug did in fact make me feel good. The vodka I drank at night helped me sleep.
There is only one thing I had in common with the two guys I lived with in this hotel. And that is we are all very self destructive. Illustrated by our at times massive drug intake. WE expressed our self destructive patterns differently though in regards to our dispositions.
Last week one guy I lived with decided not to work and just smoke meth all day. So it was then I decided I had enough.
The two men I lived with have overt anger issues- they were angry often. This is probably related to their self destructive patterns. They also both often used very bad language associated with their anger. Myself I have no anger issues and I never use bad language. So I decided to leave last week.
I chose to move to Iowa because I always wanted to live in that state. So a few days ago I took a bus to Des Moines, IA. Once there I checked into a fairly nice shelter for a place to stay. This is the first shelter I've ever stayed in that is not run by the veterans administration.
Many people are here with me now, including many women. Some of these women would be much more attractive if they did not use such bad language. I'll do what I can for these people while I'm here with them.
It is my hope to get a job very soon so I can somehow get on with my life. Now I continue to speak with my mother and brother daily on email and facebook. Most importantly though is I'm very glad I no longer take drugs or drink. For the first time in a very long time I'm actually experiencing peace. True peace being with those very similiar to myself.
I just spent several months smoking meth and drinking vodka with 2 angry drug addicts in St. Louis, MO. I had enough so I moved to Iowa to start over once again.
To get peace. And I got peace. I love watching a long train move by slowly as I watch snow fall quietly where I live. I love going to the library near where I live to experience knowledge and kindness. I love watching rabbits play where I live.
I now have peace. Which opens my mind, so I love this shit.