Fundie Times: Grandma's Joke Email FWD About Atheist Being Mauled To Death By Christian Bear

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
l
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard

a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear

charge toward him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked

over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing
in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was

even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the

bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with
his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:

'Oh my God!'


Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came

out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach

others I don't exist and even credit creation to
cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said:

'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you
to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could
make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws
together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from

Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Views: 116

Tags: Atheist, Christian, Woods, anti-atheist, attack, bear, death, irony, joke, jokes, More…judgement, justice, the, vengence

Comment by kris feenstra on January 28, 2013 at 6:24pm

I don't have an issue with this. It was cute; I smiled. The joke is coherent and the punchline is funny enough. It's so rare to get that much out of a joke about atheists that I'm not gonna knock it.

Comment by Byrnes Steel on January 28, 2013 at 10:23pm

Eugh

Comment by SteveInCO on January 28, 2013 at 10:29pm

Does a bear pray in the woods?

I guess that's equivalent to the usual question about bears and woods.

Comment by Kairan Nierde on January 29, 2013 at 2:10pm

I thought this was cute. Gave me a laugh.

Comment by Sarah Jane Hall on January 29, 2013 at 2:54pm

ha ha I posted that to Facebook it was to funny not to

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