Only something as actively ignorant as religion could come up with the concept of men giving birth to women. It takes a keenly stupid mind to look upon the biology of mammals across the globe and come to the conclusion that in the instance of humanity above all other creatures, man came first, birthed women into existence and then passed the buck on to her along with the pain of childbirth. Mixed in with this slight, also comes the dominion over women because of the belief that gods created the male gender first with apparent obvious favor.

It boggles my mind how "religious progress" is given so much praise as churches slowly opt out of stoning people to death for heresy and so rarely is this belief given the proper amount of hatred it deserves. This line of thinking seems to be abandoned to those who bare the titles "atheist" and "feminist" with equal weight and still mostly is is only addressed with a bit of a subtle eye-roll and a "how stupid can they be?" attitude. Am I missing a movement? Are there other women who find this opening introduction of women as disgustingly offensive as I do? Is there a female Dawkins screaming out her distrust of religion without being dismissed as another "angry feminist?"

I've seen the pamphlet "Why Women Need Freedom From Religion." Hell, I've given the damn thing out to people trying to get me back into the books. Yes, women are treated poorly, and it starts in the beginning of the holy books. The excuses for treating us poorly comes from men thinking we are nothing but an add-on to their lives. In the toybox of humanity, we are the accessories sold separately.

All this ire comes in the face of my current vantage point, where I want another child and fertility seems to be...complicated.

My religious friends and family are talking about prayers and having more and more children rather effortlessly and I am sitting here, smiling weakly and marking days on calendars and making appointments with doctors about options.

Options that my religious family has rather stupid opinions about. Oh the Catholic church and its opinions on birth control and abortions, we can go all day about those. Those stupid fucking ideas are in the open constantly. No one is surprised when they say something as stupid as being against condoms in an AIDS ravaged country... but then there is something only those well educated in the faith know. Most of the folks I talked to while I was a Catholic didn't know the church is also against fertility treatments.

My family is among those who can count themselves among the well educated, during Lent they actually fast in silence. Their Friday fish is usually a small serving of flavorless muck meant to remind them of sacrifice. I can't help but admit that I came to atheism along the same path as they do their faith... we read, we dissect and we progress in the truth we are presented with. It is why my atheism is rooted even when it is challenging. I read, I adopted the knowledge and made it mine. My family (the older ones at least) are not Catholic by easy habit, they are Catholic because they read and memorized all the answers to the questions they've ever been asked. It's very difficult to think that you are wrong when you have an answer to a question. I used to have a copy of The Catechism of the Catholic Church, it's a pretty large book with cross references, and if you're someone who's comfortable with encyclopedias, then the circular arguments and misdirections can keep you in the faith for years after that first nagging bit of doubt creeps into your mind...

The approach to women in the church leaves me in a boiling rage. It reminds me of an argument I once had while I was pregnant with my son. My husband had whined that he had helped create this life as well.

Before I continue on with what I am going to say, please understand that this is not a statement about being a father. My husband is a wonderful father who dotes on our child and teaches him wonderful things. It is because of my husband that my son has a healthy interest in science, the two of them share hearts filled with awe at the universe. Fathers certainly can contribute equally in the building of a person.

That being said, they do NOT contribute equally in the building of a body.

What men contribute to that is microscopic chromosomal matter. It takes a womb to build a healthy baby. It took me the better part of a year to build my contribution to the human race. Nine months of vomiting, pains and tears. Three trimesters of watching what I ate, how I slept and how I moved. If religion wants to speak of ribs, my son stuck his foot into mine during his last two months of residing in my body. At the end of all of that my religious mother talked an emotionally exhausted me out of pain killers for what turned out to be 23 1/2 hours of labor.

It was difficult, and I will openly admit that I want to go through it all again because I want to have another baby. So while my body creates challenges for that I cannot help but be filled with rage at the dismissal of my contributions to life by certain religions.

No one was ever born from the rib of a man. They are born from the wombs of women who are too often viewed as nothing more than an afterthought by religion. So for now, as I weep at another childless month and who knows how many more ahead of me, I would see all those books burn.

-Carol

Views: 170

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on October 16, 2014 at 6:23pm

Hi Carol, here are 20 vile comments against women from religious leaders down through the ages, just in case some apologist wants to tell us how well "true religions" respects and empowers women.

Comment by kOrsan on October 16, 2014 at 6:55pm

Nine months of vomiting, pains and tears. Three trimesters of watching what I ate, how I slept and how I moved. If religion wants to speak of ribs, my son stuck his foot into mine during his last two months of residing in my body. At the end of all of that my religious mother talked an emotionally exhausted me out of pain killers for what turned out to be 23 1/2 hours of labor.

It was difficult, and I will openly admit that I want to go through it all again

That's masochism mixed with a little bit of Stockholm syndrome.

Comment by Carol Foley on October 16, 2014 at 7:53pm

That's masochism mixed with a little bit of Stockholm syndrome.

That's a lot of being a mother truth be told. It isn't a weak thing, truth be told most mothers I know are closer to being fairly primal when it comes to their kids. If you slight our children we will go for the jugular, teeth barred, claws out, eyes glowing and watching for tiny movements in the bushes for creatures foolish enough to threaten our offspring.

Comment by Belle Rose on October 16, 2014 at 9:18pm
Carol I could not have said it better myself, I LOVE the way you express yourself.... I also understand the tears....

From one mama to the next... Hugs :)
Comment by Lewal on October 19, 2014 at 1:55am
I wouldn't say this treatment of women stems from these ideas.-- nature was the first misogynist. This atrocity saved the human race for a period in which it flirted dangerously with extinction. We've been deeply affected by this experience. It's part of what we are (of course the brutality of our murdering pedophile rapist evolutionary forefathers has afforded us a great gift-- today we can shape human nature, we can choose to create equality). But the ideas in these belief systems certainly don't instill in one much faith in humanity's capacity to change for the better. I often wonder if we'll die out before we manage to will ourselves to change for the better.

By the by, how do you feel about adoption? Is asking that a breach of taste? I notice you say some of the people you know are talking about having more and more children "effortlessly" and that strikes me as a fairly scary. What are your feelings about maybe adopting as opposed to, well, contributing to that mindset?
Comment by Belle Rose on October 19, 2014 at 2:03am
RE:
By the by, how do you feel about adoption? Is asking that a breach of taste? I notice you say some of the people you know are talking about having more and more children "effortlessly" and that strikes me as a fairly scary. What are your feelings about maybe adopting as opposed to, well, contributing to that mindset?

I agree that adoption is a great thing. I myself want to adopt. The thing is that for a woman who wants to have another baby, there is a sense of loss when that cannot happen. In my case, I don't have anyone to make a baby with. But it's even MORE painful for women who DO have a happy marriage, WANT another baby, but can't have one on their own...it's something that's difficult to explain. there is a very real grieving process....

My mother and father had fertility issues. That's why they ended up adopting me. My mother used to always tell me what all she went through trying to get pregnant. She couldn't. Unfortunately, adopting me was a way of trying to fix what was already broken and unhealthy. It turns out that having adopted me, it didn't help, and the result was that I grew up in a very dysfunctional, abusive home.

Adoption is only the answer when you truly want to adopt for the right reasons, but a default option to try to mend emotional wounds.
Comment by Lewal on October 19, 2014 at 2:26am
Huh, that sounds really primal. I don't understand it either, and I hesitate to speculate on the root of this hard to explain pain. Very frustrating.

By the by the by, what do you mean you don't have someone with which to have a baby? Are you looking for a partner to help raise it? Or do you just need a donor? I can't imagine a lack of fluid-generous men... (heck, you can have my fluid if you throw in some candy.)
Comment by Belle Rose on October 19, 2014 at 2:52am
RE: By the by the by, what do you mean you don't have someone with which to have a baby? Are you looking for a partner to help raise it? Or do you just need a donor? I can't imagine a lack of fluid-generous men... (heck, you can have my fluid if you throw in some candy.)

LOL!!! Thanks for offering Lewal but I see men as more than sperm shooters. I believe that men are VITAL in the raising of healthy children. Studies show this. So it would go against everything I believe in to go get sperm to make a baby with no father. My son has his father, and I work as hard as I can to make sure that relationship does not get severed. If I didn't give a shit, hell I would move somewhere else. I don't HAVE to stay here. But I stay here so that my son will have his father.

Now, my desire to adopt a legally free kid (or teenager) from foster care is different. They have NO ONE to call family. So giving them a family, even though I'm a single mom, is better than them turning 18 with no one. See the difference?

Besides, with the fact that the world is getting so overly populated, for me to get pregnant with someone I don't know and don't care about would be stupid and selfish. On SO many levels.
Comment by Pope Beanie on October 19, 2014 at 3:32am

Men made all the rules and wrote all the myths. I think natural evolution + unnaturally fast-baked intelligence conspired make men too aggressive, so it's not totally their "fault", but the world does get better as women gain parity.

I wanted three kids but settled for two when my wife said no more! absolutely no argument. You're right, we slip in a little dna, but you provide all the flesh,  blood, sweat and tears! 

Comment by _Robert_ on October 19, 2014 at 4:58pm

It's an animal thing. If you look back to our knuckle-dragging days, basically a troop of monkeys; you always have a male boss and females (and the progeny) are his prize.

The studies about human attraction show we have achieved close to nothing when escaping our primal roots. It mutates into weirdness when juxtaposed with technology and modern society. I recall wanting to take a girl out and she said she only goes out with bald cops. Barbie and Ken proportions are what we like.

Perhaps it's pointless to separate out our intellect and believe we can rise above our origins and truly treat each other as genderless. I fail everyday.

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