Just a year shy of a decade,
To the day
You exited my life
And its never been the same

Honoring you with flowers
Seems like such a silly thing to do
As you are 6 feet under
I can’t deliver them to you

Visiting the cemetery
Seems like such a waste
I can honor you from here, with my writing
This is much more my taste

Last night I dreamt of the day you died
It was so vivid
I could have cried
But I know you suffer no longer

I remember all of the little thing…
Going to the card shop
(I would come back up with tons of candy)
The time you ripped my tooth out in the middle of K-Mart
(and I bled all over the floor)
The snakes you used to make me out of twine
(I thought those were the coolest things)
The closet where you kept track of my height
(I spent a lot of time at your place)
The time we got lost in the Capri
(though that happened more than once)
When we went to get Bear, you got him for yourself
(but guess who stole him right away…I still have him)
(We always had a puzzle going.)
Clipping coupons
(We used to clip stacks upon stacks of coupons to give to the people in the apartment)
I used to lay out all of your medication
(now I am doing that again, but it doesn’t mean anything now)
Pringles and Barnum Animal Crackers remind me of you
(and how we would eat the animal crackers and the grapes before we checked out)
How the tooth fairy always paid more at your house.
(I loved losing teeth there, well sans getting it ripped from my mouth at K-Mart)
The hole in the middle of the floor
( I was always scared I’d fall in)

The only thing that made me okay with your death is that you took on every illness but the kitchen sink.
Seeing you in that downward spiral, filled with so much grief.
As you never learned, I am Atheist.
So this gave me some form of relief.

Eight years ago
I learned you adopted Dad
Something you obviously strived to hide
But that doesn’t change a thing.

I was really close to Grandma. I watched her health slowly deteriorate and watched her slowly dying before my eyes. At the age of seven I set out all of her medications. I took care of her. She meant more to me than anyone else in the world. Yesterday marked 9 years since she died. I figured I would write something for her...as I can't think of a better way to honor her. <3

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