Hi, i just stumbled upon this site and decided I would share one of the first moments of disbelief in Christianity or deity.
It was back in maybe 2002 when i was in 2nd grade. I might have been about 8 or 9 at the time. I was living with my grandparents (who raised me as a christian) and we were watching a lot of dinosaur documentaries on discovery channel. So for the next week i had been contemplating the prehistoric creatures. I came to a conclusion of how Rhinoceros' were basically descendants of Triceratops'. They look incredibly similar and lived very long ago, so i thought they must be. Well a part of me thought maybe the bible can shed some light. So i read. i kept reading that book. But nothing about dinosaurs really, nothing descriptive anyway. So how does an all knowing one forget to mention the beauty of such creatures, i wanted extreme details. Such a let down. Moving on I began to wonder about the sky and why god isn't apart of the universe since everyone directs him as the god of the clouds. I began reading a lot of astronomy books in 2nd grade and the galaxy made me really begin to think who created god? How could someone just zip into reality. Well because i was studying the universe I came across the "big bang". At the time this was the same question as who created god and how. Well because science is full of theories that make sense and not morals, I realized it was formed from atoms colliding together in a black hole creating a huge bang. Well it made sense but still no answer about God. So i asked my summer bible school teachers and well you can imagine, "God wasn't created he is all ever knowing glorious." I also wasn't sure if i had been blessed as a baby and my friends kept telling me I need to tell my pastor or ill go to hell! I thought it was very strange but i paid no attention because i was optimistic that i'd be fine. Then in 5th grade we learned about all the wars like The Crusades. Wars because of a different religion just seemed hypocritical. I'll wrap this up, but I just want to mention that my mom was very Christian. She even put me through Christian Daycare, which is daycare but they teach you to read and write, but in bible context. Very strict daycare.. Its weird I told her i smoked weed but couldn't find the courage to tell her about being atheist, that's crazy to think about. This year hopefully, I can clear the air.