Es la diferencia entre esclavitud y libertad

Que se nace a un lado de la línea entre paraíso e infierno.

El color de su piel se rompe la bondad

Y te miran como si fuera de otro mundo

De la fe en que se nazca nadie te lo puede quitar

Y la lucha de la vida nunca deje de hacer ruido

Te exigen que no llores aunque quieras

Pero qué suerte tengas de haber nacido a este lado de la línea

De la vida te mueres

A pesar de que tu madre te dio la vida

No hay manera de quitarte la tristeza

A pesar de querer vivir sin tanta lucha

Copyright 2016


Reconciling my birth story, and all the events that led me up to now has been difficult. I am slowly trying to come to terms with it all. So many questions answered only to leave more questions left with no answers. And a whole new view of myself has emerged after uncovering what I've uncovered about myself, and my family...

How do I reconcile all of this? How? That is a totally rhetorical question....to which I am searching for answers.

Maybe some questions are meant to be left unanswered. But how do you move forward when your whole world has been turned upside down? I am happy....but also very sad about what I have discovered about myself.......and my family.

Views: 170

Comment by SteveInCO on March 1, 2016 at 8:44am

We hear all the angst, and none of the details behind it.

Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 10:26am
I wasn't expecting anyone to have any answers. It is a journey I have to travel alone.
Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on March 1, 2016 at 11:33am

Rather than see your whole world as having been turned upside down you could see it as having been enlarged and your horizon broadened. It probably is overwhelming because this new vista is so much bigger and different but maybe that is a good thing?

Maybe you could say that this news has turned yours world the right side up because your past vista was never complete since you did not have the information you now have?

Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 11:46am
That is how I see it Reg...it is like the ultimate paradox. I am so amazingly happy! I am also left with so many questions..It is a journey...you know?.

The poem is (part) of an excerpt I wrote about the struggle of racism, and the contrast between life on this side of the border...and how the color of one's skin can make you feel like a foreigner among your own people....

Had I been born just 6 miles south, I would have been born in Mexico, "infierno"...but I was born in "libertad"...supposedly, lol
Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 11:47am
"La bendecida" means really "the blessed one."..my Mom said, "You were the lucky one."...
Comment by Unseen on March 1, 2016 at 12:16pm

An English translation for the rest of us maybe?

Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 6:00pm
It is the difference between slavery and freedom

To be born on one side of the line (referring to the border between MX and NM) between paradise and hell

The color of your skin breaks the bond, (with the people of your own land) and they see you as if from another world

The faith into which you are born cannot be taken away

The fight of life is never silent

They say, "don't cry" even if you need to

Because you are so lucky to have been born this side of the line (border).

Life kills you

Even though your mother gave you life

There is no way to remove the sadness

Even though you long to live without such strife
Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 6:05pm
It is about me, but more than that, about the deep racism in the region. I found out I am a 4th generation New Mexican...

It is turning into a book slowly...

I have decided that as soon as I am done with my current degree, I AM going to pursue my Masters degree in Spanish from NMSU in Las Cruces NM online...I have so much to write about, it has just come forth like nobody's business, haha!
Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 6:14pm
Sorry it doesnt rhyme in English, I did a quick and dirty translation. I thought about using the word "frontera" which DOES mean "border" in Spanish, but I wanted to emphasize the idea of how a silly little line can mean the difference between living in "paradise or hell"...but if someone read this who is from Las Cruces, they would see the paradox quickly - that it is NOT paradise. Just because you "have papers" (aka are an American) does not mean that life is easy this side of the border. And the racism and color of your skin separates you (generic you) from your own origins...
Comment by Belle Rose on March 1, 2016 at 6:17pm
I could go on for days about this whole subject, but for now I won't. I will save it for my thesis, lol

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