Comment by Kris Feenstra on August 15, 2011 at 4:16am

i) Love (and love-like substances) are a form of insanity by default.

ii) Congrats on stepping over that first hurdle to being open.  I'm sure there will be lots of "fun" things in store for you in the future, but being able to be open and honest about your convictions is definitely worth a lot.

Comment by Rick on August 15, 2011 at 10:48am

First of all, your mother’s reaction is rather typical. The initial shock of the situation usually provokes an irrational response as they let emotion speak in place of reason. You might try scheduling a time where you two can sit down and discuss her feelings. This can go one of two ways, it’ll either allow her time to calm down enough to have a civil and rational discussion, or it’ll give her time to mount an attack. If she chooses the second option, I personally think it’s best to (respectfully) tear holes in her arguments.

 

Since one of her major hang-ups seems to be that atheists are “mean,” acknowledge that “mean” atheists do exist, as do “mean” Christians and that it’s not exclusive to any system of beliefs. If she persists, you could simply cite the terrible things done by followers of her god. Hitler was Catholic and his Nazi ideologies were based in Christianity, then there are the crusades and the inquisition, and one of my all-time favorite stories is that of Pope Formosus.  I think there’s a Wikipedia article on Formosus that’ll give you the basic idea, but if you can find the full story with all the details, it’s pretty twisted. If you want to introduce the world of Christian hate to your mother, show her: God Hates Sinners.com. It’s a truly vile place. For some more fucked-up fun, sit down and watch the movie Jesus Camp with her.

 

If anything emotional trauma= religion. You can’t tell me the threat of some eternal damnation doesn’t traumatize its believers. It’s funny that a religion of “love” is really just based in fear.

 

Congratulations on taking the first step and thanks for keeping us up to date.

Comment by Cara Coleen on August 15, 2011 at 11:52pm

My older [atheist] brother got really, really sick two years ago. Sinus drainage, alcohol, and a bit of Indian food combined into a force of nature called pneumonia. My brother, in an effort to make his (unknown) condition bearable, partook of some very potent pain killers. This temporarily made him unaware of how close to death he was. It wasn't until he was coughing up blood that he realized, "Hey, I should go to the ER."

The prognosis once he got the hospital was grim... and terrifying. At first they thought his liver was like that of a 70 year old (turns out the infection in his lungs was effing up the tests they were running). He needed surgery, but they thought his blood was not coagulating due to his bad liver. They finally figured out the liver was not the problem, but they were still afraid they were going to have to remove his lung because the infection inside was so terrible. They performed thoracic surgery, which means they went between two ribs in his back and cut a 17 inch incision to access his lungs, and then shove drainage tubes inside. Fortunately, his lung was spared, but his recovery was beyond traumatic.

My mother insisted this was God's way of trying to get his attention. He was literally close to death, and my mom was convinced this was the alter call my brother needed. Despite being so physically drained and weak, he stood his ground and sent the pastors away.

Apparently my brother had not had a close enough encounter with death to be swayed by the Almighty, so a few weeks later (while still wearing a wound vac) he was busy minding his own business at the bank he was employed with, when suddenly he found himself in the middle of a bank robbery. It may look cool on TV, but my poor brother (with a new lease on life) was not amused. And when my mother suggested this event was yet another trumpet call from Jehovah, he refused to speak to her for weeks. It was really a cheap shot. Instead of "I'm so glad you're alive! Are you okay?! How can I be here for you?" she shoved her imaginary friend in his face yet again... not really believing he didn't believe in a Higher Power. 

His bad luck didn't end there, and of course my mother blamed all these things on his lack of belief, or acceptance, of God. While she mourned the loss of her own father, she insisted my brother was going through all these horrible things because he was a non-believer. Nevermind that I was doing just fine in my neck of the woods; nevermind that my younger (Believing) brother was broke as a joke with a kid a wife before 21 years old: my older brother was essentially cursed until he acknowledge Jesus as her personal Savior and Lord.

Luckily things have finally improve for my brother. He's got a car (which had been repossessed due to ridiculous hospital bills), a job, an atheist girlfriend... he's happy again. This proves nothing to my mother. It means nothing to her that she did everything the way the Bible told her to, yet she has suffered heartache like everyone else... a divorce, abandonment, an abusive second marriage, barely scraping by for years...

If you make a rational argument to her that she can't refute, it's like her brain shuts down and reboots. Her eyes seem to momentarily glaze over, and then she mechanically utters, "I do not understand the mind of God; His ways are not my ways." At this point, the debate is over. She'll have forgotten the most profound points by the time dinner rolls around. And then she'll be back to trying to convince us this is just a stage, or rebellion. It makes me sad.

 

Congratulations on taking the first step. I hope your mom will eventually come to terms with your lack of belief. No, I hope she'll come to her senses and eventually share your enlightenment. I have been able to share that experience with my brother and my biological father. I was lucky in that sense I guess, although I wish I lived closer to both of them. It does get ea

Comment by Cara Coleen on August 15, 2011 at 11:52pm

Ouch. That was long. Sorry!

Comment by Cara Coleen on August 15, 2011 at 11:57pm

...oh, some of that novel got cut off. I said it does get easier, and has gotten easier... and good luck :D

Comment