Well, I went to my fathers church today, where he pastors.
I sorta had to:
I have been living in South Korea for the past 2.5 years, and I came home for the month to visit. My parents have been talking about, and updating all the church people about what and how I have been doing and told everyone there that I'd be in town. I felt pretty obligated to go just to say hello to people and shake a few hands. I do plan on not attending for the rest of the month, but it seemed like I would have been the bad guy if I hadn't attended.
Thing is, my father has been talking about how people are praying for me and basically letting me know in any offhand way that he hasn't "given up" on me yet. I'm sorta annoyed but not as I know where his mind is and I know he means well, but I am annoyed at the fact that he's attempting to validate himself against me by saying the things he does... Anyhow...
Today we had lunch in the park together. We sat at a picnic table, and we were ready to eat. My dad asked me to pray. I was immediately reminded of this thread, and began to think over whether I wanted to pander to my fathers needs, stand up for my own beliefs, or if I was just respecting his wishes. It seems he wanted confirmation that I still had faith, and he was forcing me to admit to it.
I said "uh........."
After around 10 seconds, the longest 10 seconds in my ENTIRE life, my mother spoke up and said to my father "You just do it" and while the tension dissipated, I felt a bit like something was wrong and that my father lost something and my mother wasn't all that thrilled with either of us.
I wonder, should I have been more active in my stand? Did I do it the right way? I know I was NOT about to pray, and I'm actually VERY amazed that he asked me to do it... Either way, I am not 100% sure I handled it right. I think I should have said more than "uh....." but I still have a strong reluctance to be entirely up front to my father.