The Valley of Dry Bones
Ezekiel 18:1 to 48:35

18:1 Repent for your sins and God will have mercy. It's not your father's fault you’re being punished. God judges you individually. Sin, sin, sin, tsk tsk tsk, your sins have been many. The people of Tyre are a bunch of sinners and the Babylonians will beat their asses and punish them plenty. The Egyptians will also be punished by the Babylonians for being a bunch of sinners. The Babylonians kick ass. You knew that.

19:1

23:1 God told me about a couple of sisters who moved to Egypt and they let lots of different men play with their tits. Men played with their tits pretty hard, leaving bruises sometimes. The sisters seem to actually like it kind of rough. They have daughters who like to whore around too, and run around half naked showing off their tits to the soldiers and other boys. The whole family is a bunch of slutty whores basically and God wants them rounded up and stabbed to death with swords right away. Then maybe the women around here will get the hint and not be such sluts who are so cavalier about who plays with their bare naked titties.

33:1 News came this way one day that the city of Jerusalem is officially toast, as in having been smashed, flattened flatter than Moses bread.

37:1 The Lord carried me out to a valley full of dry bones. He had me preach to dem bones and suddenly there was a loud rattling sound as all the bones rose up and connected themselves together. It was a pretty weird day even for me. Flesh formed on the bones and they became a great army of Israelite zombie soldiers. The Lord had me preach to the wind and it blew over the valley and the zombie troops suddenly came back to life. God told me he would soon bring all the dead Israelites back to life and they would all be happy back in the old country with zombie King David back on the throne again. At that time God will make a peace treaty with us and come down and live with us. That will teach all these damn foreigners to mess with the Jews. Hahahaha.

38:1 The Lord told me to badmouth old Gog of Magog. Our enemies like Gog of Magog will be taught a lesson someday when God makes a worldwide earthquake and rains down fire and lava and giant hot hail. Then they will know who God is. Holy crap they will be sorry.

40:1 God carried my spirit to Jerusalem where we measured for the rebuilding of the temple someday. We also discussed a new division of territory between the tribes. I’ve got it all written down. I’ve got everything written down. I just need to organize my notes. You wouldn't believe how many notes I have. Give me a moment. It’s been one hell of a weird day - again. I need to write this down.