I don't fear death itself, but I'd be lying if I said the thought of not existing didn't make me uneasy. I admit it: I think about dying often, probably too much. Thing is, I'm not in anyway suicidal or depressed. I have this kind paranoia; I feel as though my life (so far) has been a rip off. There are certain things I dream of experiencing, or enjoying before I go. I know, however, that life is completely random. Things could happen, and I might not be here tomorrow or the next day. I worry at times that I will never be able to experience the things I feel I deserve to, things I feel I've suffered for and earned. Life isn't fair, it just is. I know worrying won't change this and I know being paranoid won't help. This doesn't affect my life in any serious way; they are but fleeting thoughts. Some days I just wonder if I'm not living for nothing. The best option is to wait and see.

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Comment by Doug Reardon on May 17, 2010 at 9:41pm
"Some days I just wonder if I'm not living for nothing." It's the "living", just the "living" that's pretty much remarkably, incredibly, amazing! And, if you get to share it with other human beings, and animals, what more do you need?
Comment by Cynical Soldier on May 17, 2010 at 9:53pm
You have quite the idealist view there, Doug. I'm afraid I need a bit more than just "sharing" in this "remarkable, incredible, amazing" life with my fellow human beings and animals. Call me crazy.
Comment by James on May 17, 2010 at 10:00pm
Care to share what 'things' you feel you're missing out on. I agree with Doug that living this beautifully improbable life leaves me full of gratitude. But I also try not to sit on the sidelines and waste this life if I can help it. Maybe a bit more info will help us help you. Until then, seize the day and try to make to most out of everything!
Comment by Doug Reardon on May 17, 2010 at 11:39pm
I suffer from depression, and I still think being alive is the most remarkable, incredible, and amazing thing. I could never have existed and all the awe, joy, love, hate, pain, that is part of me would never have existed, and the universe wouldn't notice, but because I am alive, I would! Every second of my life is indelibly etched into the fabric of the universe. Stars don't have a reason for being either.
Comment by Renshia on May 18, 2010 at 1:16am
Learn to use the thought of death as a tool.
When things are getting out of control, when your finding it hard to motivate yourself, when you have those moments of self pity. Think about your death and ask; if, in light of your inevitable death is it worth it? Is it really that important? If you were to die now would any of it make a difference.

Using your death as a tool helps to rid life of the useless unimportant garbage. It also It a great motivator in focusing on those things that are important. Questions like, is this important enough to die for? Is this an experience I want to have before I die? Understand that your death is like a companion showing you the things important in life and reminding you that time is limited.

But I must inform you that adopting this perspective can completely screw up your life. There is no way to prepare for the fact that it can reveal how much of a mess a life can be and how we can think we are living a life that means something but doesn't. Not to mention anything about the self destruction.
Comment by Craig Nomazlab on May 18, 2010 at 10:13am
I don't worry so much about missing out on awesome stuff by dying, because I'll be dead and won't really care. The only thing I worry about is what my close friends will go through if I die tragically.
Comment by Shanika on May 18, 2010 at 11:38am
I have similar thoughts as well. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. There's so many things I want to do, and sometimes worry I won't get to them before I die. I feel like I wasted so much time because I was brainwashed by religion.

I think about what my funeral will be like. Will there only be 6 people there, as it was at Thomas Paine's funeral because he spoke against Christian doctrines? Then I decide not to worry about that because I won't be around for it anyway lol. But I guess the biggest thing for me is to leave something significant behind.
Comment by Shine on May 19, 2010 at 6:06am
I'm watching someone slowly die from a degenerative neurological disease. Simply being relatively healthy and pain-free is enough of an amazing life for me. :)
Comment by Shanika on May 21, 2010 at 12:35am
You're right Shine!

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