How many times do I have to be damned for all eternity, I wonder? Is that like having 6 consecutive life sentences? Is there ever any break between suffering, or is it non-stop misery for all time? How will my body hurt if I don't have one?
A theist asked a ridiculous question about us being able to see in 3D and how that could only have happened if we were created by God yadda, yadda, yadda. She asked me a question, so I answered it to the best of my ability. Then, when she didn't get the answer she wanted, she damned me to suffer for all eternity because I "refuse to believe the truth!"
And then I got the well-now-you've-heard-the-truth-so -you-can-choose-to-damn-yourself bit. I take great delight in saying, "No, I don't believe. I won't believe. I can't believe." They seem to think there is some magical switch by which I can manifest faith in something that sounds completely absurd to me. I know I could allow myself to be indoctrinated, but that seems, at the very least, like it would be going mind-bendingly against reason and sound judgment.
Am I to leave these at the door then? Do I just forget a lifetime of being who I am, learning what I have learned, and here's the important part... to avoid the suffering that comes from lack of faith in their deity? Do I do this to make them happy? What if it destroyed my psyche? Would they care? What do they really want, I wonder? What would satisfy them?
Then she told me my heart was closed to Him and that I have made a choice to deny Him. This woman knows nothing about me. I try and try to let Christians like her know who I am. The fact is they don't seem to care, even though they say they are doing this because they care. It saddens me that people do this to other people.
I cannot be where I am not at. I can only be where I am. As far as this issue goes, they, their deity, their literature, and my life experience have utterly failed to convince me any god exists, let alone Jesus. Threatening me with suffering doesn't change that. What I think she was trying to offer me is a way to deal with the inevitable misery that happens in life. I get that. It sounds nice, but I still don't believe it.