Construx, JiminyCricket, and Delusional Doctors.

I've thought long and hard about this. My grandmother who I went to church with many times while I still lived in NY, was Roman Catholic. My mother, was Baptist. I went to the Baptist church with mom after we left NY, but only briefly. Apparently I wasn't all that clear on the concept of a collection plate when it was handed to me, for the first time ever. It's not my fault that nobody ever told me why nobody took from the plate. Me being the little scientist I was, decided to experiment. Or so I've been told. I was still very young.

Nobody ever told me there was no Santa. I figured it out around 5, a year or so after I learned to read. I was reading the instructions to my Construx, which I had just gotten for Xmas. I thought to myself, that if these were made for me, by Santas' elves, then these instructions should be personalized. Right? I mean, it only makes sense. Then immediately I though about the chocolate rabbits, and hunting for eggs. I didn't understand the whole half god zombie means rabbit brings candy thing either. Sill don't. Then I thought about the tooth fairy, and all the other "visitors" that I never saw. I never remember being convinced the smelly dude at the mall was santa, 'cause santa doesn't smoke, or smell like alcohol. (It was NY, in the early 80's)

After deciding that all the imaginary overseers were in fact just that, I started thinking about the whole GOD thing. Why do some worship god, some Jesus, some Mary, some Allah, Shiva, Pele, and some Gaia? There must be thousands of gods then, right? No, wait, I have to rethink this. Grandma and Mommy tell me that there is only one god. But the Romans had a lot of em. The rasta god is a man-king. So many say there is only one, and that theirs is the only one. So who's right? They all say they everyone else is wrong. Many say all others are false idols.

Wait a minute,... I've never SEEN any of them. And sure, I hear my own voice in my head, but that's just the cricket from pinocchio that the old dude can't see. I know the difference between that and a "god" speaking to someone. That's a different voice, or an urge to be good, or something. There's a difference, and I knew what the difference was, just not the names.

Years ago, I read a few books on psychology. Maybe a lot, I don't know. I read a lot of fucking books. But I remember quite a bit about schizophrenia. Voices in the head, blah blah blah, multiple personality disorders and such. Hmm. Striking resemblance to hearing a gods voice. Do you see what I'm getting at here? People have a conscience. Most people anyway. I have a voice in my head, sure! But it's my own fucking voice. I don't have an imaginary master that speaks to me, or that I speak to. That's fucking nuts.

Compartmentalization. Ohhh,... big shiny five dollar word there. Look it up, cause I'm about to talk about it, and I don't have time to compensate for your deficiencies.

Some of the greatest minds have "believed" the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Do you know that there are people in NASA, who despite all of their education, still believe in angels? They are taught to question EVERYTHING. That's the whole point behind being a scientist. All you have to do to be the smartest mother fucker in the hood, is learn how to figure shit out. It's that simple. LOL!!! I say that, but....

We have surgeons that operate on people every time they go to work. They literally hold our lives in their hands. The last thing I ever want to hear, is a surgeon praying. I don't want the same guy who is "trying" to save my life to leave ANYTHING to an imaginary being in the sky. EVER. That fucker better be on every fuckin' p, and every fuckin' q.

"Well, he's in GODS hands now,.." Fuck no! I'm in YOUR hands mother fucker. Lots of pressure huh? That's why you go to school for several years, and have crazy insurance, right? I mean, you DO get paid a lot of fuckin' money. You asked for it, not me. So if you're not 100% every second you're in that hospital, you need to put down the scalpel.

Some of the smartest people, trained from very early ages to question everything, and reject theories that have been proven false, still believe in "God". That's compartmentalization. And it's ignorant. So extremely ignorant.

Do you want to know why so many refuse to refute? Comfort. All these sheep need their comfort. The need the devil to take blame for being a shitty person. They need a god to help them through tough times. They have to believe that their loved ones are in a "better place". Well I can't tell you what it's like after death. Do you know why? Because death, by definition, is a permanent suspension of life functions. Crazy shit happens when your brain is starved of oxygen. If you learn how the brain translates input from the outside world such as taste, touch, smell sight and sound, you could see how easily these translations become garbled at times. Ever have a dream that felt just as real as anything else you've ever experienced while awake? Wow, and that was just sleeping. Something we do every night. I can't imagine what it must be like near death,... well I can actually. That's beside the point, and merely subjective. In no way could my own personal experiences become objective. At least by no means that we currently have available to us.

That movie "Strange Days" comes to mind.

"You just have to have faith.", They say.

Um,... no thank you. I'm not wondering into the desert for nearly six weeks on blind "faith" that somehow, I'll get through it. Shit, who was it that got lost in the desert, and led his people around in circles for two score? See what happens when you go on blind "faith"?

Had he known better, he would have said "Fuck it guys, I have a new idea. Let's just follow the fucking sun after it passes over head every day. We'll keep it at our backs in the morning, and here pretty soon, we'll either be the first motherfuckers to walk around the world, we'll hit water, mountain, or we'll fall off the edge. Who's in?"

I mean, doesn't that sound like more sense guys? I'm not trying to convince anyone that can't be convinced. For those people, they are better off left in their fish bowl. It's much safer for them there. But those who are objective enough, and unafraid enough, it's time to let go. It's ok,...

There are many of us out here who refuse to follow along with the pack. We can think for ourselves. We are strong, as nobody holds our hand as we carve our paths. We are accountable, both to ourselves, and our peers. We are responsible, with no demons to blame, and no waiting on angels. We are the movers and the shakers. We are not afraid to say "I don't know, but let's figure it out.", while others make up stories. We are not ashamed, we are not timid. Nothing is left to chance, we cover our own asses, and others when we can. We don't ask for forgiveness. It's easier to just do nothing that needs forgiving. I like that idea better anyway.

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