Clever Guy That Samson (Not)
When I was a kid, we got a Bible story every morning in class until about the ninth grade. I remember thinking as early as my third year in school, that these tales sounded a lot like the ones we heard about guys like Hercules and Thor, but for some reason THOSE stories were myths, and these were the real McCoy.
I mean really, read the book of Judges with the story of Samson and tell me this is not a reconstructed (albeit poorly) Greek myth. The early part of the story even has a riddle. THE DUMBEST RIDDLE you ever heard, but there it is.
The riddle business starts in The Book of Judges, Chapter 13. The children of Israel are on the outs with God again. You need a score card to keep up with this relationship. On and off. Well, now its off. As the story opens, they are doing a forty year stretch in the hands of the Philistines. 13:2" And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not." Well, yes, that would be the definition of barren now wouldn't it? But hold on, in the very next verse, and angel of the Lord appears to this unnamed woman and tells here that shell soon have a son.
As always, there are some conditions. She should drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing. Fair advice for an expectant mother. But he continues, "...and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines." Nazarites were separatist who must abstain from wine, wine vinegar , grapes, raisins, alcohol and vinegar from alcohol. They also were not to let razors touch there head. (Plot point).
Lets skip a bit to the full grown man Samson, and in good mythological and Hollywood tradition, he kills a lion with his bare hands.
Samson
Samson
Then he goes to meet his sweetheart, a Philistine woman he has the gaga for. BTW, Samson's parents are not at all happy about this dating outside the camp, but careful reading of the text implies that this is all part of a divine plan. Isn't everything.
On the way back from his date, or sometime later, the writing is unclear, Big Guy finds that a swarm of bees have taken up residence in the lion's dead body and are making honey.
Later at his wedding feast, Samson tells his 'riddle" I quote: " I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty sheets and thirty change of garments. But if ye cannot declare it me, then shall ye give me thirty sheets and thirty change of garments".
Okay, says everybody, we'll cover those sheets.
Chapter and verse: 14:14 And he said unto them, Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness. And they could not in three days expound the riddle.
That's what passes for a riddle? Nobody but Samson knows about the lion. The bible is quite clear on that. Its like me asking you to name two of the guys who beat me up in sixth grade. And calling myself clever because you cant.
What follows all this is an even dumber subplot of the guest trying to get the answer by telling his wife that if she don't help them, they will burn her house down. She "cries" it out of him. What follows is one of the strangest passages in the Bible. (And that's saying something) 14:18 And the men of the city said unto him on the seventh day before the sun went down, What is sweeter than honey? And what is stronger than a lion? and he said unto them, If ye had not plowed with my heifer, ye had not found out my riddle.
Did Big Guy just call his new bride a cow? Did he accuse here of having sex with them?
Quoting again: 14:19 And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men of them, and took their spoil, and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle. And his anger was kindled, and he went up to his father's house.
So, the Bible tells us that if you loose a bet, its okay to murder to pay it off. Huh?
I mean really, read the book of Judges with the story of Samson and tell me this is not a reconstructed (albeit poorly) Greek myth. The early part of the story even has a riddle. THE DUMBEST RIDDLE you ever heard, but there it is.
The riddle business starts in The Book of Judges, Chapter 13. The children of Israel are on the outs with God again. You need a score card to keep up with this relationship. On and off. Well, now its off. As the story opens, they are doing a forty year stretch in the hands of the Philistines. 13:2" And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not." Well, yes, that would be the definition of barren now wouldn't it? But hold on, in the very next verse, and angel of the Lord appears to this unnamed woman and tells here that shell soon have a son.
As always, there are some conditions. She should drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing. Fair advice for an expectant mother. But he continues, "...and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines." Nazarites were separatist who must abstain from wine, wine vinegar , grapes, raisins, alcohol and vinegar from alcohol. They also were not to let razors touch there head. (Plot point).
Lets skip a bit to the full grown man Samson, and in good mythological and Hollywood tradition, he kills a lion with his bare hands.
Samson
Samson
Then he goes to meet his sweetheart, a Philistine woman he has the gaga for. BTW, Samson's parents are not at all happy about this dating outside the camp, but careful reading of the text implies that this is all part of a divine plan. Isn't everything.
On the way back from his date, or sometime later, the writing is unclear, Big Guy finds that a swarm of bees have taken up residence in the lion's dead body and are making honey.
Later at his wedding feast, Samson tells his 'riddle" I quote: " I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty sheets and thirty change of garments. But if ye cannot declare it me, then shall ye give me thirty sheets and thirty change of garments".
Okay, says everybody, we'll cover those sheets.
Chapter and verse: 14:14 And he said unto them, Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness. And they could not in three days expound the riddle.
That's what passes for a riddle? Nobody but Samson knows about the lion. The bible is quite clear on that. Its like me asking you to name two of the guys who beat me up in sixth grade. And calling myself clever because you cant.
What follows all this is an even dumber subplot of the guest trying to get the answer by telling his wife that if she don't help them, they will burn her house down. She "cries" it out of him. What follows is one of the strangest passages in the Bible. (And that's saying something) 14:18 And the men of the city said unto him on the seventh day before the sun went down, What is sweeter than honey? And what is stronger than a lion? and he said unto them, If ye had not plowed with my heifer, ye had not found out my riddle.
Did Big Guy just call his new bride a cow? Did he accuse here of having sex with them?
Quoting again: 14:19 And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men of them, and took their spoil, and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle. And his anger was kindled, and he went up to his father's house.
So, the Bible tells us that if you loose a bet, its okay to murder to pay it off. Huh?
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Comment by Matthew on December 15, 2009 at 11:25pm - And this was a guy that god liked? Of course he did! Murdered people, misoygenist and vain!
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