CHRISTMAS MIRACLES OR GOD'S PSYCHOSES?

What is the fascination with "Christmas Miracles?" Is this simply ignorant reporters searching for a catchy headline in order to draw readers to their story or is there more to it? It seems that always around Christmas the number of divine interventions increases. These alleged "miracles" make the headlines and perpetuate the silly notion that God has somehow stepped maneuvered in on the affairs of mere mortals and made something a little better.

But here's the rub: most of the time, the "miracle" is simply something less tragic than it could have been. For example, we see lots of people escaping house fires at Christmas time (usually caused, by the way, by faulty holiday lights or other yuletide negligence); their entire house and its contents destroyed, people sent to the hospital with singed hair an smoke-filled lungs, but it was a "Christmas miracle" that they survived at all. Or something like this story, which, because the community came together after the fire, such coming together must have been a miracle. God must have intervened on their behalf. Or, in this story's twist, a Hanukkah miracle, after a Hanukkah candle started a fire.  Or, it's the homeless child, who, after seven years of living on the streets begging for scraps of food after the Indonesian Boxer Day tsunami, is finally reunited with her family--God must have intervened to make this happen. Naturally, this is all hogwash and an attempt to put some divine silver lining on an otherwise horrible random occurrence.

Of course, what's also obvious is that if such miracles were true, then God let the house burn down--perhaps even caused it just to bring about the miracle. Similarly, God allowed the child to suffer for seven years on the streets, just to have her reunited seven years later. Thus God generally causes all kinds of other grief and suffering before stepping in to "ease" to people's pain and show them how great he is.

If true, then my diagnosis is that God suffers from multiple psychoses. Psychiatrists see this kind of bizarre behavior among primary caregivers; it's called Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome--the caregiver harms his or her charge in order to get attention. Couple that with a manic desire to "save the world," in the form of Hero Syndrome, and you've got God. So, if Christmas miracles truly happen, I suggest God be institutionalized. Or at least put on meds.

Anyway, here's the same thing in a new Intelligent Design.

Click on image to enlarge

Also published on my blog: http://www.ithasteeth.com

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