I was at a memorial service yesterday for my wife's supervisor's son. It's a small company so everyone still actually cares about each other. The Son was 33 and died of a sudden heart attack (congenital and undetected). He left behind a 1 year old daughter and a wife.
Some of the family is deeply religious. Louisiana religious. The fundies seem to be OK with death. Memorials are a celebration of the life and they find hope in seeing the family again in heaven. The father, whom I genuinely like, read a passage from John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Then he went into how you can choose what side of the room you want to be on. As if belief is a simple choice rather than having been convinced or not.
For me as an Atheist, I'm pretty OK with death. It's not that I'm not crushed when I lose a loved one. I cry and feel the same as the next person. But I'm like the fundie in this respect... i celebrate the life and move on. The difference between the fundie and I is that I know that I'll never see my loved one again. Such is life. Looking at it in a practical actual sense gives us the knowledge that this is how it goes. You pick up the pieces and march on through.
Christian-Lite on the other hand, they can end up in a world of hurt. The wife is not taking the death well. I don't think that it's just a random not handling it well, I think that we have half-assed believer in amongst the devout and she can't believe the cavalier attitude. She doesn't know if she really believes this afterlife stuff. (All my suspicions.) Death for a Lite leads to questions of "Why would God do this to us?"
Being a moderate must be this slow downward spiral in Christianity. You see the churches wronging people with theft, robbing children of innocence and speaking about the glory of God while you have a dead loved one on your hands. After seeing that yesterday i'm feeling so bad for her. She's moving in with her in-laws for various reasons and the father-in-law is clearly devout. How is someone feeling comfortable saying "I believe in Jesus" but not really meaning it going to find closure in a devout household? To me is seems completely unhealthy and I see a ticking time bomb. The death of her husband, the host families son, is fraught with emotion. It's a simple matter of time before this comes to a head.
Is it me, or are the Christian-Lite crowds generally one or two experiences away from being atheist? Would they be healthier finding a supportive non-believer or a convinced fundie? I'll have to find a way to have my wife and I take her out in the next couple of months as things settle to see if there is anything she needs to get off her chest. The death of a spouse or child seems like a terrible time to have to work on your religion as someone whom is truly undecided.