At one time, like most atheists I know, I was deeply religious. l will not mention what my religion was, but I will say it was based in orthodoxy.

God was on my mind from the moment I awoke in the morning until I slept at night. Mostly my thoughts were conjurations of scripture and lessons from the learned and I meditated on how I could make all this wisdom work in my every day life.

I think I studied more than others and prayed more than others and "believed" more than others because I didn't seem as faithfully strong as those around me. When I heard scientists speak of the universe being 14 billion years old and the earth being over 4 billion years old, I knew they were correct.

One day my friend's sister, who had an advanced degree in biology, asked several of us gathered at a bible study, if we accepted evolution. The room fell silent. We all looked around at each other with sealed lips. You know evolution is a fact, right? She asked.

I knew it was a fact. I at least knew it made sense. Did everyone else fall silent because they also knew it, but was afraid to confess in front of the others? I thought that might be the case and I was almost about confess when she'd grown frustrated with us and left the room. That was probably good for me at that time because once she left the others shared how they really felt. Basically, it came down it didn't matter how educated or smart one was; God only reveals himself to those whom he chooses. She obviously was not one of those people.

I played along for a few more years. Gradually, I just could not lie to myself any longer. I stopped thinking about God when I awoke and I didn't pray before I slept for the night.

At one service I remember standing next to a doctor and a judge, both highly educated men. I began thinking, do these guys really believe in God? I mean, they're educated people. I am not as educated and I barely believe. I just couldn't believe that other people believed.

The whole thing came to a crash one night when I watched a video on children with Tourette Syndrome. No argument in the world could make me believe there was a caring and beneficent creator that loved his creation. If there was a god it was a cruel and wicked entity that I wanted nothing to do with.

If you can watch this video (which is far less severe than the one I saw) and tell me you still believe in a just and wise god. Then you deserve a god that would do this to a child.







At one time, like most atheists I know, I was deeply religious. l will not mention what my religion was, but I will say it was based in orthodoxy.

God was on my mind from the moment I awoke in the morning until I slept at night. Mostly my thoughts were conjurations of scripture and lessons from the learned and I meditated on how I could make all this wisdom work in my every day life.

I think I studied more than others and prayed more than others and "believed" more than others because I didn't seem as faithfully strong as those around me. When I heard scientists speak of the universe being 14 billion years old and the earth being over 4 billion years old, I knew they were correct.

One day my friend's sister, who had an advanced degree in biology, asked several of us gathered at a bible study, if we accepted evolution. The room fell silent. We all looked around at each other with sealed lips. You know evolution is a fact, right? She asked.

I knew it was a fact. I at least knew it made sense. Did everyone else fall silent because they also knew it, but was afraid to confess in front of the others? I thought that might be the case and I was almost about confess when she'd grown frustrated with us and left the room. That was probably good for me at that time because once she left the others shared how they really felt. Basically, it came down it didn't matter how educated or smart one was; God only reveals himself to those whom he chooses. She obviously was not one of those people.

I played along for a few more years. Gradually, I just could not lie to myself any longer. I stopped thinking about God when I awoke and I didn't pray before I slept for the night.

At one service I remember standing next to a doctor and a judge, both highly educated men. I began thinking, do these guys really believe in God? I mean, they're educated people. I am not as educated and I barely believe. I just couldn't believe that other people believed.

The whole thing came to a crash one night when I watched a video on children with Tourette Syndrome. No argument in the world could make me believe there was a caring and beneficent creator that loved his creation. If there was a god it was a cruel and wicked entity that I wanted nothing to do with.

If you can watch this video (which is far less severe than the one I saw) and tell me you still believe in a just and wise god. Then you deserve a god that would do this to a child.




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