Children With TS – Why I Became an Atheist

At one time, like most atheists I know, I was deeply religious. l will not mention what my religion was, but I will say it was based in orthodoxy.

God was on my mind from the moment I awoke in the morning until I slept at night. Mostly my thoughts were conjurations of scripture and lessons from the learned and I meditated on how I could make all this wisdom work in my every day life.

I think I studied more than others and prayed more than others and "believed" more than others because I didn't seem as faithfully strong as those around me. When I heard scientists speak of the universe being 14 billion years old and the earth being over 4 billion years old, I knew they were correct.

One day my friend's sister, who had an advanced degree in biology, asked several of us gathered at a bible study, if we accepted evolution. The room fell silent. We all looked around at each other with sealed lips. You know evolution is a fact, right? She asked.

I knew it was a fact. I at least knew it made sense. Did everyone else fall silent because they also knew it, but was afraid to confess in front of the others? I thought that might be the case and I was almost about confess when she'd grown frustrated with us and left the room. That was probably good for me at that time because once she left the others shared how they really felt. Basically, it came down it didn't matter how educated or smart one was; God only reveals himself to those whom he chooses. She obviously was not one of those people.

I played along for a few more years. Gradually, I just could not lie to myself any longer. I stopped thinking about God when I awoke and I didn't pray before I slept for the night.

At one service I remember standing next to a doctor and a judge, both highly educated men. I began thinking, do these guys really believe in God? I mean, they're educated people. I am not as educated and I barely believe. I just couldn't believe that other people believed.

The whole thing came to a crash one night when I watched a video on children with Tourette Syndrome. No argument in the world could make me believe there was a caring and beneficent creator that loved his creation. If there was a god it was a cruel and wicked entity that I wanted nothing to do with.

If you can watch this video (which is far less severe than the one I saw) and tell me you still believe in a just and wise god. Then you deserve a god that would do this to a child.







At one time, like most atheists I know, I was deeply religious. l will not mention what my religion was, but I will say it was based in orthodoxy.

God was on my mind from the moment I awoke in the morning until I slept at night. Mostly my thoughts were conjurations of scripture and lessons from the learned and I meditated on how I could make all this wisdom work in my every day life.

I think I studied more than others and prayed more than others and "believed" more than others because I didn't seem as faithfully strong as those around me. When I heard scientists speak of the universe being 14 billion years old and the earth being over 4 billion years old, I knew they were correct.

One day my friend's sister, who had an advanced degree in biology, asked several of us gathered at a bible study, if we accepted evolution. The room fell silent. We all looked around at each other with sealed lips. You know evolution is a fact, right? She asked.

I knew it was a fact. I at least knew it made sense. Did everyone else fall silent because they also knew it, but was afraid to confess in front of the others? I thought that might be the case and I was almost about confess when she'd grown frustrated with us and left the room. That was probably good for me at that time because once she left the others shared how they really felt. Basically, it came down it didn't matter how educated or smart one was; God only reveals himself to those whom he chooses. She obviously was not one of those people.

I played along for a few more years. Gradually, I just could not lie to myself any longer. I stopped thinking about God when I awoke and I didn't pray before I slept for the night.

At one service I remember standing next to a doctor and a judge, both highly educated men. I began thinking, do these guys really believe in God? I mean, they're educated people. I am not as educated and I barely believe. I just couldn't believe that other people believed.

The whole thing came to a crash one night when I watched a video on children with Tourette Syndrome. No argument in the world could make me believe there was a caring and beneficent creator that loved his creation. If there was a god it was a cruel and wicked entity that I wanted nothing to do with.

If you can watch this video (which is far less severe than the one I saw) and tell me you still believe in a just and wise god. Then you deserve a god that would do this to a child.




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Views: 5

Tags: Atheism

Comment by Ava Wilson on January 29, 2011 at 9:58am
Well, I have always been an atheist. But from a philosophical point of view, I've always found the argument from suffering a poor support for being Atheist. Because I believe suffering is necessary in the world, I could not fault a god for allowing its existence. There would be no point to enjoying life if suffering did not exist. I have Asperger's, a form of autism. It is closely related to Tourettes in that they are both neurological disorders, and autism comes with mild Tourettes like symptoms. I can't even say mild. Sometimes you can't tell them apart. The autism comes with something called "stims" or a compulsive need for stimulation. This manifests as spinning, jumping, staring, hand waving, pacing, etc. So I know what that's like. But I would not call a god who allowed it to happen "malevolent". Just unbiased. But none of that explains why you aren't a deist. The idea that there is a creator that began time and just let it go. It allows for evolution and the big bang to work, while maintaining the belief in a creator. It also does away with the problems of prayer or church which statistically don't help anyone and keeps the age of the earth intact. The god is an impersonal one that transcends the petty human jealousy of Abrahamic gods. So why did you really settle that there is not a god at all?
Comment by Saint godless on January 30, 2011 at 5:26pm

Thank you for your insight. I do agree that suffering has its part in growth. I also believe that suffering is relative. Starving children in the Sudan doesn't benefit anyone. I happy that you have found strength through your condition.

I actually did toy with the idea of deism. In fact, I became a 32nd degree mason which is deist in nature. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I don't need there to be a god to answer unanswerable questions. I am happy that there is mystery in the universe and don't believe there is anything supernatural to that mystery. I guess I would be with Richard Dawkins on level 6 bordering with level 7 atheism (from the God Delusion).  

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