Chelsea's Coming Out Story
Morgan inspired me to share my Moment of Truth story! I hope it resonates with some of you and that you find it interesting and helpful in your own process.
I grew up in an EXTREMELY fundamentalist Christian environment (German Lutheran, Missouri Synod) and was brainwashed from as early as I can remember. At 14, I started asking my mother questions she could only answer with "I don't know but God says it's good/bad/not understandable-by-our-fallible-limited-human-minds", etc. These answers were unacceptable to a thinking and questioning mind, and thus began a long and painful process of debrainwashing,
I had no guidance, support, or examples of how one goes about doing such a thing. For many years, my freedom from religion was so tenuous I could barely stand to be in the same room with a Christian. I studied and dabbled in all kinds of multifarious spiritual practices in an effort to fill the void left by a dogmatic, controlling religion. Fear runs rampant in many Christian minds, and mine was no exception.
I'm over all that now, thankfully, and marvel that I ever believed such nonsensical fairy tales (which never ended well if you happened to be female, incidentally). To be fair, I suppose there was also a time early in my intellectual development when I truly believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and yes, I did put a tooth or two under my pillow as a little girl for the Tooth Fairy. ;)
As I was working towards a degree in Chemistry/Biology (graduated in '99) my intellectual understanding of Life and the Universe evolved and supported me in taking baby steps towards atheism...As in, agnosticism at first (my crutches), then atheism (the Final Frontier...to Boldly Go Where Not Many Have Gone Before...at least not in this country).
That's how I ended up here and honestly, I am a very happy atheist! It has taken a long time for my mind to let go of the story that I need to know why we are here, what happens to us after we die, blah, blah, blah. I am convinced that once I'm dead, I won't care about any of that since I'll be, well, dead! So, I'm enjoying myself and life right now. I highly recommend it! And you all are great! I am really, really loving being here and getting to know you guys. Thanks for being here and for reading my story. <3
I grew up in an EXTREMELY fundamentalist Christian environment (German Lutheran, Missouri Synod) and was brainwashed from as early as I can remember. At 14, I started asking my mother questions she could only answer with "I don't know but God says it's good/bad/not understandable-by-our-fallible-limited-human-minds", etc. These answers were unacceptable to a thinking and questioning mind, and thus began a long and painful process of debrainwashing,
I had no guidance, support, or examples of how one goes about doing such a thing. For many years, my freedom from religion was so tenuous I could barely stand to be in the same room with a Christian. I studied and dabbled in all kinds of multifarious spiritual practices in an effort to fill the void left by a dogmatic, controlling religion. Fear runs rampant in many Christian minds, and mine was no exception.
I'm over all that now, thankfully, and marvel that I ever believed such nonsensical fairy tales (which never ended well if you happened to be female, incidentally). To be fair, I suppose there was also a time early in my intellectual development when I truly believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and yes, I did put a tooth or two under my pillow as a little girl for the Tooth Fairy. ;)
As I was working towards a degree in Chemistry/Biology (graduated in '99) my intellectual understanding of Life and the Universe evolved and supported me in taking baby steps towards atheism...As in, agnosticism at first (my crutches), then atheism (the Final Frontier...to Boldly Go Where Not Many Have Gone Before...at least not in this country).
That's how I ended up here and honestly, I am a very happy atheist! It has taken a long time for my mind to let go of the story that I need to know why we are here, what happens to us after we die, blah, blah, blah. I am convinced that once I'm dead, I won't care about any of that since I'll be, well, dead! So, I'm enjoying myself and life right now. I highly recommend it! And you all are great! I am really, really loving being here and getting to know you guys. Thanks for being here and for reading my story. <3
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Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on May 15, 2009 at 3:17pm -
Great post, Chel.. thanks for sharing.
...and um.. if you leave a coin under your pillow for the tooth fairy, does that mean she takes a tooth instead? Woah! I've been doing it all backwards!
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Comment by Chelsea on May 15, 2009 at 3:23pm -
haha...Good point...lol!!! Thanks for reading and for the great editing! :)
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Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on May 15, 2009 at 3:37pm
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Bwahahah.. that wasn't editing.. it was just me really thinking I had it backwards.
...difficult childhood.
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Comment by Gaytor on May 15, 2009 at 4:32pm -
Is putting a tooth under your pillow worshiping a false idol or god? hmmm... Thanks for sharing.
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Comment by Chelsea on May 15, 2009 at 4:51pm
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Depends on how big the tooth is...lol Thanks for reading!! ;)
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Comment by Rick Watts on May 15, 2009 at 4:59pm -
GOOD post Chelsea. Do you feel as though a burden has been lifted since discovering yourself as an unbeliever/atheist? I had never thought of considering weather I may qualify as a non-believer until I saw and became active in some debate (fundamentalists vs atheists & sane believers) on answerbag website. I was out walking under the stars one time during the winter and it just struck me 'there AIN"T no god'.. what a relief! I think my blood pressure is even lower now. I wonder if there is some kind of psychological test one could take.. to see if one's brain is really wired to accept belief in a deity or not.. I think NOW I would have to be bashed and brainwashed until I was convinced that I believe.
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Comment by Cara Coleen on May 15, 2009 at 5:05pm -
Good blog, Chelsea!! I really enjoyed reading it :).
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Comment by Dave G on May 15, 2009 at 5:11pm -
A good post, Chelsea, welcome to the community!
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Comment by Chris on May 16, 2009 at 12:45am -
So very good to read your story, Chelsea! I know the feelings of fear that run rampant in the Christian mind very well. I still struggle with them on occasion, but overall, finally free and much happier as a non-believer than I ever was as a Christian!
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Comment by Jim Valentine on May 16, 2009 at 3:33am -
Thank you for sharing your story, Chelsea.
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