OH MYJudgment Day
Amos 1:1 to 9:11

1:1 These are some words blurted out one day by Amos.

That’s Mr. Amos to you.

The Lord says he has three or four damn good reasons for sending a nasty horrible fire to burn up all of the nations in the whole damned mid-east region, including Israel and Judah. All of the bad things that people hate, you know like bugs and disease and death and so on, are things sent by God as punishment. Don't you dare look forward to Judgment Day. There will be nothing good waiting for you on Judgment Day. That is like running from a lion and meeting a bear. Israel, prepare to meet God (who is both the lion and the bear in this awkward simile).

9:11 Someday God himself will come down and rebuild the church that we had back in the days of good old King David. The Jews will all come back to Israel at that time and rebuild and replant and stay put forever. That's what God says, according to me, Amos.

I wouldn't use the spurs.

Next: Free Slaves
The Bible According to Brad

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Comment by James Cox on February 13, 2013 at 2:53am

Should we be writing captions for this?

"Can you PLEASE get this monkey off my back?"

"I heard blonds taste like chicken."

"If was just a few years younger, I'd show you a thing or two."

"I now want to go extinct!"

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