I, Andrew, propose the perfect way to defeat this detestable economic situation that our most noble and glorious nation is enduring, and I am certain that other wealthy tycoons like myself will agree that it is indeed perfect.
As history shows, it is the wealthy in the world that make the important decisions and cause real change. It is us that lead nations to glory. The poor, working class citizenry do play an important part as well, but they certainly don’t have anywhere near the monumental responsibility people like us. The peasantry in this country is wasteful, superfluous, and most of all, expendable.
It is for these three unfortunate characteristics, especially the latter, that I propose my new plan: we will replace dependency on oil with reprocessed biomass.
What is reprocessed biomass, and how do we obtain it, let alone reprocess it? Well, you see, it’s quite simple, really. The reprocessor itself, which I have painstakingly and lovingly invented, is an unspeakably large machine, and it would be useless for me to try to explain to you all of its complicated intricacies. However, all one needs to know is this: biomass is placed into the machine, and extreme amounts of energy are produced.
Biomass, the fuel that produces this energy, is provided to us the working class folk: the men, women, and even the children (better than dooming them to a life of toil). Their biomass is “deconstructed” in a mass-shredding chamber, and then travels down a conveyor belt into the reprocessor. Just one average-height and -weight adult male can produce nearly two gigawatts of energy!
Just think: there are millions of poor people in this country that could be used to power our private jets and 100-room homes, and help save the world economy at the same time! I am such a genius.

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Comment by Gaytor on April 2, 2009 at 10:16am
100 room home... Peasant.

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