Title maybe misleading like everything else I always write because my English is not so god. My vocabulary is excellent but the way I use it is problematic. In this blog I will not talk about life after death.
Now, on to the topic.
I've been watching Real Time with Bill Maher's episode with Seth MacFarlane because I'm a big fan and I watch everything with him in it. But at the beginning of the episode (the episode in question is 2010 09 24) the guest was Richard Tillman (Pat Tillman's brother). They both were/are atheists, and this strikes a cord with me because my brother and I are also atheists, except my brother wasn't kill by "friendly" fire in Iraq. But what, in some way, changed my life (and this is something that has been happening to me a lot lately, I'm getting old I suppose...) is what he said at his brother's funeral. After some of other people spoke at the funeral how he (Pat) is now with god and so on, Richard came to the stand and said:
"Thank you for coming. Pat's a fucking champion and always will be... don't want me to say this but, he is not with god, he's fucking dead, he is not religious, so thanks for your thoughts but he's fucking dead."
And this changed my opinion concerning death. Until now I was very depressed, as always dark days of winter do this to me, and I think a lot about passing of time, how life is short and we are all just here and that's it and so on. Winter's existential crap as usual. But now something changed.
I, for the first time in my life, felt proud that I'm going to die and that I'm aware that death is the end, the only end. While religious people think naively that they are going to see their loved ones and exist for eternity (I wrote 'exist' not 'live' because it's not a life if you can't die). In other words I truly live, and I will keep on living to the end while this religious fanatics keep themselves away from knowledge, need for exploration and life.
You might say I'm "high on life" now, and I know it's sounds cliché but what does atheist have if not life, this one beautiful life on this beautiful planet in this marvellous times.
It's a great feeling when you know where you are going, you are not blind. And I was blind for a long time, I didn't know what do, which profession to chose, which university to attend so I always chose the best one and because evolution gifted me with intelligence I achieved what I set out to do.
But I didn't know with what purpose to live a life, and as an atheist I didn't have a nifty religious solution in a form of god to choose this instead of me, I actually had to sit down and think about it. But, I have a lot of knowledge about the world because from the first day I can remember I always asked and questioned everything, so to create solution out of this huge amount of knowledge was almost impossible and depressing. Then I hear this simple, honest and intense speech and realise that I was, as always, overthinking it.
I discribed it with an analogy in my diary today:
Imagine a whole society is in a boat leaving the shores of limited knowledge for far oceans of greater knowledge. For the boat to move people have to sacrifice their lives by going in to the water and pushing the boat and when they exhaust themselves they disappear in the water. But every time they push the boat, the boat goes farther, and the whole society in the boat goes with it. The old ones sacrifice their lives for the young ones and the cycle repeats while the boat sails farther and further away from the shore of limited knowledge.
The moral of the story is: We are remembered how we lived and if we 'push the boat' we are heroes. But those who think that pushing the boat is silly because some deity allegedly said that we shouldn't move the boat and preferably stay by the shore are not heroes.