Benny Hinn Will Cancel Your Debt: Red Light Special

(cross-posted on my blog: davenichols.net)

So you find yourself in dire financial straits. Debts piling up. Assets disappearing. All despair and worry. You might think you can't pay the piper one more time.

'That sounds like me, I don't know how I'll pay the water bill this month, let alone my kids' braces. Dunno if I'm going to make it through all this economic disasterism.'

But wait, don't lose faith! Benny Hinn has the solution! Remember the story of Elisha?

Now there cried a certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets unto Elisha, saying, Thy servant my husband is dead; and thou knowest that thy servant did fear the Lord: and the creditor is come to take unto him my two sons to be bondmen. And Elisha said unto her, What shall I do for thee? tell me, what hast thou in the house? And she said, Thine handmaid hath not any thing in the house, save a pot of oil. Then he said, Go, borrow thee vessels abroad of all thy neighbours, even empty vessels; borrow not a few. And when thou art come in, thou shalt shut the door upon thee and upon thy sons, and shalt pour out into all those vessels, and thou shalt set aside that which is full. So she went from him, and shut the door upon her and upon her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured out. And it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said unto her son, Bring me yet a vessel. And he said unto her, There is not a vessel more. And the oil stayed. Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, Go, sell the oil, and pay thy debt, and live thou and thy children of the rest. (2 Kings 4:1-7)

Benny reminds you that only through faith in God was she able to own an endless fountain of oil from which she prospered and helped others prosper.

'But Dave, how might I too get my own pot of oil so as to get my family out of this financial mess?'.

Don't fret, Benny has it all covered. First, you have to believe in God. 'Done!' you say? Ok, now Benny just needs you to help put those first drops of oil in the pot. I see you looking around for the oil.

'What do you mean, Dave?'

Money, give Benny money.

'@$#%# Dave, I already told you we have no cash, this sounds like a scam to me. Quit wasting my time.'

I thought you'd say that, but let me pass on Benny's faithful words to reassure you:
What do you have in your house? What do you have in your hands? If you will pour out your faith, God will use what you have. The pot is not a gift, talent, or money—it is your faith. What are you doing with that faith? Up to the point when she talked to Elisha, this widow had apparently ignored the pot of oil in her house as a life-changing resource. She was worried about the bill collectors who were going to grab her sons and place them into slavery. That is understandable as she became more frantic, but in doing so, she was ignoring the power of the Lord to perform a mighty miracle.

'So I only need to believe really hard in God and I'll find my own pot of oil? That doesn't sound so hard.'

Indeed, not hard at all. Just believe and you will receive.

'But I thought you said I had to give Benny-boy money.'

Oh, did I forget to explain exactly how all that faith turns into prosperity? Sorry, I was so excited by the thought of you finding financial freedom it slipped my mind. Let Benny make it clear how you make this happen:
Don’t let debt continue to be your master. Follow God’s principles for giving toward the kingdom, giving out of your need, and targeting your seed toward your debts. Send your seed and prayer requests today. I will come into agreement with you on May 25, agreeing that your seed will trigger the harvest for debt cancellation. And I can’t wait to hear your testimony of what God will do in the coming days!

'Seed?'

A small donation to Benny Hinn's ministry, a down payment of sorts in God's Spiritual Economy, fully applied to your eventual salvation of course, just needed to grease the wheels for God to do his almighty work.

'...'

What, you aren't willing to invest a little to get back eternity?

'Is Benny Hinn a Nigerian by chance?'

Palestinian Israeli, in fact.

'So he needs my money so that God can reward me for my faith? How is that not a Nigerian scam exactly?'

I already told you he's not Nigerian.

'...'

What is the cost of a few hundred dollars when compared to an eternity of God's love and attention.

'A few hundred dollars.'

Right! So cheap he's almost giving it away. Isn't God great?

'... Go F yourself, and take Benny with you.'

Your loss, just means more eternity for the rest of us!

Views: 22

Tags: Benny Hinn, Christianity, Hypocrisy, Religion, Scams

Comment

You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

  

Services we love

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

In need a of a professional web site? Check out the good folks at Clear Space Media

© 2014   Created by Dan.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service