Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. ~ Neil Gaiman, CoralineFear of God
Habakkuk 1:1 to 3:2

1:1 The burden of being Jewish from the point of view of Habakkuk.

Lord how long do I have to sit around balling my eyes out and you will not hear me crying? Even when there is massive violence you will not come save us. There is something seriously slack and non-comprehensive about your rule-making ability. Like, why do you punish us by having Chaldeans attack us? Those Chaldean folks are obviously wicked, way more wicked than us. They don't even worship you, it makes no sense at all.

2:1 I waited around for God to answer me and God told me to get some paper and write this down. God said "Hey buddy, I have good reasons for how I use the Chaldeans. None of your damn beeswax, that’s why. Besides, I have plenty of bloody violence planned for the Chaldeans eventually."

I listened and scribbled down everything God said on the paper whether it made sense or not and said to myself "Whoa."
god - dog, dog - god. Think about it.
3:2 God scares the living piss out of me. God came down one day and he was so brightly lit it hurt my eyes. There were horns coming out of his hands. Horns, out of his hands. Wherever he went there were lots of annoying pests following close behind. Burning coals came flying out of his feet. Burning coals, flying out of his feet. He sized up the Earth and then destroyed whole nations. The mountains saw him coming and they were frightened. The Sun and Moon stood still. They were probably scared stiff by God’s flying burning coal feet.

When I heard God walk by, my lips and belly quivered and rottenness entered my bones. Although everything in my life fails, and there is no food, and no farming, and no livestock, and my bones are all rotteny, I will still praise God. He’s that scary.
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
Next: Have a Nice Day
The Bible According to Brad

Views: 127

Tags: bible, god, habakkuk, judaism, mythology, philosophy, religion, yahweh

Comment by _Robert_ on March 17, 2013 at 8:51pm

The Chaldeans were bad for sure..wiki

"However, an Assyrian king Ashur-uballit II held out at the Assyrian city of Harran, resisting until 605 BC, when the remnants of the Assyrian Army and an Egyptian force were defeated at Karchemish.

The Chaldeans now ruled all of Mesopotamia, and the former Assyrian possessions of Aram (Syria), Phoenicia, Israel, Cyprus, Edom, Philistia, and parts of Arabia...."

Comment

You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

Forum

What do we want? Dead cops! When do we want it? Now!

Started by Unseen in Society. Last reply by Davis Goodman 16 minutes ago. 86 Replies

My Grandpa died last week

Started by Physeter in Small Talk. Last reply by Heather Spoonheim 22 hours ago. 13 Replies

Why do we tolerate this?

Started by Belle Rose in Crime and Punishment. Last reply by Virgil yesterday. 65 Replies

How do you cure Insanity???

Started by Belle Rose in Advice. Last reply by Belle Rose yesterday. 71 Replies

Blog Posts

Creationists Dispute

Posted by Fouad on December 24, 2014 at 7:26am 1 Comment

Services we love!

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

In need a of a professional web site? Check out the good folks at Clear Space Media

© 2014   Created by umar.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service