Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. ~ Neil Gaiman, CoralineFear of God
Habakkuk 1:1 to 3:2

1:1 The burden of being Jewish from the point of view of Habakkuk.

Lord how long do I have to sit around balling my eyes out and you will not hear me crying? Even when there is massive violence you will not come save us. There is something seriously slack and non-comprehensive about your rule-making ability. Like, why do you punish us by having Chaldeans attack us? Those Chaldean folks are obviously wicked, way more wicked than us. They don't even worship you, it makes no sense at all.

2:1 I waited around for God to answer me and God told me to get some paper and write this down. God said "Hey buddy, I have good reasons for how I use the Chaldeans. None of your damn beeswax, that’s why. Besides, I have plenty of bloody violence planned for the Chaldeans eventually."

I listened and scribbled down everything God said on the paper whether it made sense or not and said to myself "Whoa."
god - dog, dog - god. Think about it.
3:2 God scares the living piss out of me. God came down one day and he was so brightly lit it hurt my eyes. There were horns coming out of his hands. Horns, out of his hands. Wherever he went there were lots of annoying pests following close behind. Burning coals came flying out of his feet. Burning coals, flying out of his feet. He sized up the Earth and then destroyed whole nations. The mountains saw him coming and they were frightened. The Sun and Moon stood still. They were probably scared stiff by God’s flying burning coal feet.

When I heard God walk by, my lips and belly quivered and rottenness entered my bones. Although everything in my life fails, and there is no food, and no farming, and no livestock, and my bones are all rotteny, I will still praise God. He’s that scary.
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
Next: Have a Nice Day
The Bible According to Brad

Views: 136

Tags: bible, god, habakkuk, judaism, mythology, philosophy, religion, yahweh

Comment by _Robert_ on March 17, 2013 at 8:51pm

The Chaldeans were bad for sure..wiki

"However, an Assyrian king Ashur-uballit II held out at the Assyrian city of Harran, resisting until 605 BC, when the remnants of the Assyrian Army and an Egyptian force were defeated at Karchemish.

The Chaldeans now ruled all of Mesopotamia, and the former Assyrian possessions of Aram (Syria), Phoenicia, Israel, Cyprus, Edom, Philistia, and parts of Arabia...."


You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist


Babies Are Not Born Atheists

Started by Ed in Small Talk. Last reply by archaeopteryx 3 hours ago. 4 Replies

Gideons International

Started by Ed in Small Talk. Last reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer 14 hours ago. 3 Replies

Draw Muhhamed day was yesterday Bring out your drawings

Started by ThyPlagueDoctor in Small Talk. Last reply by ThyPlagueDoctor 23 hours ago. 4 Replies

Bible Belt Promiscuity

Started by Dante in Advice. Last reply by Dr. Bob 13 hours ago. 11 Replies

am i the only athiest that believes in spirits

Started by Katie Patterson in Small Talk. Last reply by Unseen 3 hours ago. 35 Replies


Blog Posts

The Purpose of Atheism

Posted by Pope Beanie on May 22, 2015 at 8:35pm 0 Comments


Posted by Belle Rose on May 16, 2015 at 4:14am 4 Comments

Services we love!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

© 2015   Created by umar.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service