*Sigh* Well, here I am at yet another of my brother's friend's wake. This time it was the father. He worked at a mill for 20 years so it's understandable that this happened. 20 years on someone's lungs would not make you live longer, but it still sucks. Only 4 months apart from the last wake I went to. I was still trying to get over the last one, now this. It seems that the mortality rate here in america is pretty high. If you make it to 60, I'm impressed. I just wish I had some words of comfort to tell the remaining family. I came in payed my respects. I choked-up a little while I was approaching the coffin. I found myself a little awkward talking to a dead man. People could overhear me talking to him. I could see their gazes at the corner of my eye, looking at me. I could only guess what they think of me. Probably wondering who's this guy, or something. One of them was a member of a church, and I know he was talking about me. See he knew that I rejected religion, so he thought that it was ok to talk about me behind my back. I could give a damn about what the others thought. I have just as much right to be there as they do. These people have a stern cold look to them. They look at me, then look away. That's the kind of people I live with in my community, if you're not a member of some sort of religion, then you're not human. As for the brothers, they look past that, they see me for who I am. And to me, that's all that matters. I talked to the father just a couple of weeks ago. It feels so weird that he died so soon. It's hard to describe. I don't know what's going to happen to the house that he lived in, probably sell it. I drove all the way to St. Louis and back for the oldest brother to get his tools and supplies, so he can move back with his dad to take care of him. This was just a week or two ago. Now I don't know what he's going to do. I thought it would be inapropriate to talk about it at a time and place like this. So... that's it.