an ode to the anti-apocalyptophobiacs of the world

after all the idiots who followed Camping

found themselves up shit’s crick

after May of 2011 &

after all the morons hoping & “praying”

that they would get a “get out of life free” card

with the ending of the Mayan calendar

just a little more than a week ago,

discussion has already begun to loom,

spewing forth like the foulest vomit

(outdoing even lil’ Linda Blair’s projectile in

“The Exorcist”)

from the mouths of these


who cannot go to sleep at night,

unless they are counting repeating images of


hopping over the farmyard fence

with the rest of the



yes fans,

the batshitfuckingnuts of the world

have begun to spin their minds like a top,

panicking about “solar flares in 2013,”

“robots taking over the world in 2030,”

“Prof. Cunningham’s time capsule

predicting biological weapons eliminating

us all in 2016” & of course, our favorite

fictional character with his flowing blond hair,

blue eyes & ability to walk on water,

he’s supposed to be returning sometime to

“fight satan,” um, just as he has been

supposed to for, um,

quite some time…

but those avid readers of Jeane Dixon

will be waiting for 2020,

when “satan” & “jesus” fight for the big

heavyweight title…um,

but supposedly he has a window of 17 years

to arrive in the ring,

so, this writer certainly hopes that “satan”

brings a book or an ipod or some jax or

something, cause’ shit,

he’s got a while.


and then there’s the jewish end-seekers who

abide by the talmud’s 6000 year lifespan of the world…

and then there’s the numerology numbskulls

who are counting up how many times “allah” shows up

in the qur’an &

on &

on &

on &


until these people are

scratching out their eyes

because they can’t stop twitching in fear


something happening at

some time, some place in the


when they are





just like the rest of us,


this is an ode,

a salute to those who

are sick to fucking death of

these people who will not embrace the

fact that their lives will not end in any grandiose,

metaphysically charged,

special, or unique kind of way---



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