This is more just for me, but I was filling out my profile and explaining what my catalyst for question religion was so here it goes. It's nothing extensive but it's something that I've been meaning to write down for years but never go to. I hope to eventually expand upon this but due a falling out with that side of that family I am pretty devoid of further information other than my memories.
At the age of eight my Uncle then aged 24 was diagnosed with cancer. He wasn't just my uncle though, he was the most awesome big brother I never had. I witnessed this upstanding, deeply religious, and extremely fit example of what I thought any person should strive to be; suffer and slowly and painfully die. He struggled with chemo and innumerous biopsies for three and half years until his body couldn't take it any longer. He was the literal definition of the ideal Christian. Loved his family, loved his god and most of all loved life. He went to church multiple times a week and volunteered whenever physically possible. When he died it felt like the world was gonna end. At the age of 11 I started pondering about the existence of a god that would make one his most true and loyal followers suffer immensely for almost four years. At age 12 I was almost certain that god did not exist and we we're on our own. It didn't scare me though. I realized that our lives are finite and that we should enjoy them as much as possible.