The Vengeance of God
Nahum 1:1 to 3:1

1:1 The burden of Nineveh and all of the associated imaginings in the mind of a guy named Nahum.

God is jealous. God is revengeful. God is furious. So then, we've established that God is jealous, revengeful, and furious. He is slow to anger sometimes but when he gets all riled up, I’ll tell you what, he is very powerful and he will not at all show mercy on the wicked. The hills melt and get all gooey and the Earth is fried right crispy by his mere presence. That’s how hot his mere presence is. Who can stand up to the mere presence of someone super-heated like that? His fury pours out like wildfire and also he throws rocks, big rocks, huge. The Lord says he will come and help us get rid of the idol worshipers we have around here. By throwing big hot rocks at them probably.

3:1 God is going to destroy the bloody hell out of the city of Nineveh. There are going to be sword stabbings, and chariot attacks, and fires, and a whole lot of total misery involved all the way around.

You Nineviniacs will be just like grasshoppers which disappear when the sun gets too hot, and who knows where they go? I don’t know where they go. Do you know where they go? Nobody knows where they go. They just go. I don't know where.

There will be no healing of the bruise when God is the bruiser. When people hear about you citizens of Nineveh getting the crap kicked out of you they will clap their hands in applause because you were mean. There was no need to be mean.

Next: Be Afraid
The Bible According to Brad