As time and technology march on, belief systems slowly reinvent
themselves to keep pace with popular culture. Perhaps it is time
for a new creation myth... This one - unfortunately unattributed -
has been circulating on the Net.

IN THE BEGINNING
(To justify God's ways to the 21st century)

#In the beginning was the computer. And God said

:Let there be light!

#You have not signed on yet.

:God.

#Enter user password.

:Omniscient.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!

:Omnipotent.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!

:Technocrat.

#And God signed on at 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.

:Let there be light!

#Unrecognizable command. Try again!

:Create light.

#Done.

:Run heaven and earth.

#And God created Day and Night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.

:Let there be firmament in the midst of water.

#Unrecognizable command. Try again!

:Create firmament.

#Done.

:Run firmament.

#And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.

:Let the waters under heaven be gathered unto one place and let the dry
land appear.

#Too many characters in string specification! Try again.

:Create dryland.

#Done.

:Run dryland.

#And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.

:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.

#Unspecified type. Try again.

:Create sunmoonstars.

#And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.

:Create fish.

#Done.

:Create fowl.

#Done.

:Run fish 'n' fowl.

# And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
crept wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
after its kind. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
#Approx funds remaining: $45.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.

:Create cattle.

#Done.

:Create creepy things.

#Done.

:Now let us make man in our image.

#Unspecified type. Try again.

:Create man.

#Done.

:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air, and over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.

#Too many commands operands! Try again.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 6 errors.

:Insert breath.

#Done.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 5 errors.

:Move man to Garden of Eden.

#File Garden of Eden does not exist.

:Create Garden of Eden.

#Done.

:Move man to Garden of Eden.

#Done.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 4 errors.

:Copy woman from man.

#Done.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 3 errors.

:Insert woman into man.

#Illegal parameters. Try again.

:Insert man into woman.

#Done.

:Run multiplication.

#Execution terminated. 2 errors.

:Create desire.

#Done.

:Run multiplication.

#And God saw man 'n' woman being fruitful and multiplying in the Garden of
Eden.
#WARNING: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create freewill.

#Done.

:Run freewill.

#And God saw man 'n' woman being fruitful and multiplying in the Garden
of Eden.
#WARNING: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Undo desire.

#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

:Destroy freewill.

#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Help!

#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is is inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

:Create Treeofknowledge.

#And God saw man 'n' woman being fruitful and multiplying in the Garden of
Eden.
#WARNING: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create good 'n' evil.

#Done.

:Activate evil.

#And God saw that he had created shame.
#WARNING: system error in sector E95. Man 'n' woman not in Garden of
Eden. 1 errors.

:Scan Garden of Eden for man and woman.

#Man and woman cannot be located. Try again!

:Search Garden of Eden for man and woman.

#Search failed.

:Delete shame.

#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

:Destroy freewill.

#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

:Stop!

#Unrecognizable command. Try again.

:Break.
:Break.
:Break.

#ATTENTION ALL USERS. ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER
GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND
REST IN 5 MINUTES. PLEASE SIGN OFF.


:Create new world.

#You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.

:Destroy earth.

#Destroy earth. Please confirm.

:Destroy earth confirmed.

#COMPUTER DOWN, COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL
RESUME ON SUNDAY, MARCH 8TH
AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

#And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6. And God, He had zero
funds remaining.

Via: creation story

Views: 2

Comment by Christy on September 18, 2008 at 9:57pm
haha long read but well worth it :)

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