This is a strange place to be in. I have told my husband that I don't love god and I am not a christian and that I don't believe in fairy tales. I wanted to but I don't. I wanted to believe that I could blame something or someone else when ever I did something wrong. All I had to do was say the devil made me do it or the devil put those thoughts in my head. I knew all the time that we are all responsible for our actions, good , bad , or indifferent. He is still a christian and prays for me and wants me to pray. I told him I will not. I am trusting in whats real, what I can see. Im am not talking to the air anymore....it makes no sense. I don't know where my marriage will go but I am not going back to that life of fear, guilt and condemnation. I am kinda nervous but I know I will be fine.