A few friends and I went to Six Flags in Arlington, Texas–near Dallas. If you've ever been to a theme park, then you know that the lines for everything are ridiculously long. You also know that cripple people get in front of the line because everyone feels uncomfortable bitching about standing in line for a long time when there's a cripple around. Right now, you're probably forming thoughts in your head given that introduction and the title, and you think I'm that asshole that pretends to be cripple to be first to ride the rides. Well I'm not. 

We were standing in this line to get what appeared to be the best damn food in Texas because the line wrapped around the building. Upon further investigation, this was happening everywhere. As with most theme parks, there are church groups, band camps, cheer squads and all sorts of young person collectives. There was one church youth group that, apparently, all went to the same eatery but ended up in different spots in line (like, oh my gosh! What a coincidence!). Well the kids in front of us kept trying to wave their friends to come up with them. Everyone saw this and turned around and gave them scornful looks. That seemed to deter the budding criminals....for the time being. They finally got the gumption to go up with teir friends, shrugging off everyone's snarls. As soon as they got up there, I yelled,

"Is the whole fucking group crippled?" The group looked at me like, "How dare you." So then I noticed that the girl in the wheel chair didn't have any kind of brace or anything and I found this to be a bit curious.

"What is your ailment?" I asked.

"None of your business." the handi-capable girl answered.

"Well it sounds to me like your only cripple is being a liar. Take your bed and walk." I said, very sarcastically.

"What?" She said incredulously. Hmm, not recognizing a quote from the bible.

I then snapped "I was quoting your Jesus. Get out of the goddamn chair because he does not approve."

"Leave us alone." replied her posse.

I just shook my head and walked off. When I got back to my group of friends, they told me that the lady that was between us and the kids did a Hale Mary when I mocked Jesus. We laughed about that for a while.  

Views: 95

Tags: Humor, Hypocrites

Comment by Ben on October 24, 2011 at 9:13pm
Ha ha! Serves those kids right :)
Comment by Artor on October 24, 2011 at 9:43pm

While it's appropriate to call people on their bullshit when they break a social contract, like cutting in line, I think your story also illustrates that you're a jerk. Please stay in Texas.

Comment by Dannan Monsell on October 24, 2011 at 10:07pm

I am a jerk. A proud one at that. I will not stay in Texas though. There is so much to see and that's an irrational request. I am actually a very likable person and I have a plethora of character witnesses to prove it. I have a lot more stories of me being compassionate. My jerk side doesn't make a common appearance. Wait for more blogs as I have a lot of stories and most of them are nice. No need to judge me off of one story. That's what Christians do.

Comment by Matthew on October 24, 2011 at 10:24pm
I agree with Artor, your kind of a jerk. The whole quoting Jesus for the wheelchair person was uncalled for. Not all people in wheelchairs need braces, everyone knows this. Theme parks are there to get away from troubles, not worrying about some kids and bickering to someone you don't even know for sure has an ailment when if she did, it really is not your business. and then calling them out on their religion when it was completely unnecessary. Overall your story disgusts me and I would expect more from a freethinker.
Comment by Matthew on October 24, 2011 at 10:26pm
Looking forward to the other posts btw. Maybe they can uplift my opinion.
Comment by Dannan Monsell on October 24, 2011 at 10:37pm

I realize it may have been uncalled for but this girl stood up out of the wheel chair later after she got her food to sit in a chair at the table. Not straining or anything. I asked politely what her ailment was and I got a shitty answer so I was shitty right back. She could have told me muscular dystrophy in the shittiest tone ever and I would have left it alone. I'm not a total ass. I applaud people for having something they believe in and using it to set examples in public places. My mother, whom I love more than anything, is an avid Christian. I am disgusted that people would disgrace their own belief so they don't have to wait in line. I call it like I see it, I am a realist. Not a lot of people like a realist. All-in-all, I guess you had to be there to fully grasp it. 

Comment by Artor on October 25, 2011 at 1:27am

I'm glad I wasn't there. I would have been embarrassed for you and your complete lack of manners. I have a close friend who uses a wheelchair. He can get up and walk just fine, but if he stands for too long, he gets vertigo and starts falling and hurting himself. There are a million not-obvious reasons a person might be using a wheelchair. Lugging one around just so you can cut in line is one of the least likely ones. For someone who is forced to use a wheelchair, having some rude redneck jerk get in their face and demand details of their medical problems is pretty much uncalled for.

Your line, "...and you think I'm that asshole that pretends to be cripple to be first to ride the rides." is pretty telling. At that point, that's not what I was thinking. I had observed that you were the kind of asshole who calls people with handicaps "cripple," like it's an insult. Then I observed that you're the kind of guy who thinks of cheating first, and doesn't think of common decency at all.

Comment by Dannan Monsell on October 25, 2011 at 4:07am

I was a little embarrassed but the part that I found funny was the hale mary. Someone who can play and kick should not be in a wheelchair. Someone who has vertigo should not be at a theme park. I don't have a problem at all with "cripple" people. My sister has brain damage from a car accident, my dad walks with a cane sometimes because of knee surgery, I have two good friends that have cerebral palsy, I donate a part of my check monthly to Human Service Charities of America. So needless to say, I am very sympathetic to the handicap. "Cripple" is not an insult and it's insulting that you think that. I tactfully asked them why someone in a wheelchair had a problem with being farther back in the line. I was just curious as to why, even if she was handicap, it called for her and her six or so friends to cut in front of so many people. I find it hard to believe that any self-respecting, truly handicapped person could use their ailment as an excuse to skip ahead in line for food, and do it in good conscience. The rides are a little more understandable seeing as how that could take a really long time and the wheelchair isn't always the easiest to navigate. That is why I called cheating right off the bat. I am actually a very nice person. Like I said, I have character witnesses that will attest to that...a lot of them. I am a firm believer in common decency. Hence me being so disgusted with someone, injured/ailed or not, using their handicap as an excuse to get farther ahead in the line for food with a bunch of other friends. Handicapped people are no less of a person and they deserve to be treated like you and I. It's actually just as insulting to give them special treatment, and any truly handicapped person will tell you that.


By the way: I am nowhere near anything that resembles a redneck. Even if I were, I know a few people who are a redneck by definition and they are great people. Get off your high horse, you judgemental prick.


Comment by Artor on October 25, 2011 at 10:24am

Hey, I'm just going off your story as presented. Maybe you are a nice guy, maybe you were polite, but the way you told the original story, you came off as a flaming asshole. You claim now that you politely asked about the wheelchair, but your story has you loudly & rudely confronting the "cripple." If you don't want to give that impression, try editing your stories next time, and think about how you present yourself.

Comment by Dannan Monsell on October 25, 2011 at 6:26pm

I am and I was. I didn't put exact dialogue for the sake of space and I didn't remember it verbatim. It was almost a year ago. Now, why is everyone seeing me as the bad guy and not the person exploiting an injury/ailment in a jesus t-shirt? I say again, I call it like it is (however blunt it may be) and some people don't like that. I guess I will stay away from "Asshole stories" entirely since they cause all of this uproar and confusion.


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