Comment by Nelson on September 5, 2011 at 9:02pm

why worry about it? CarbonDate.Me is an all freethinking dating site. it was begun by the same peeps that started and run Think Atheist.

(full disclosure: i'm on the staff of TA and CDM and so obviously i have an interest in seeing TA and CDM succeed. but that of course doesn't mean it's not still a great place to meet other freethinkers!)

 

but in order to answer your question, that's a tough one; maybe you should keep it quiet and see first whether there's anything too a relationship (or a prospective relationship) before mentioning it, but maybe it's best to be up front so that you don't waste your time with someone that's going to have a problem with it.

if it was me i'd be up front about it.

Comment by Kyle Wilkins on September 5, 2011 at 9:04pm

I would say keep it low for the moment, if religion does come up don't hesitate to say you are an Atheist though. Religion should not be a make or break deal with people. Unfortunately people get scared if they are reading about you and see 'Atheist'.

Comment by James on September 5, 2011 at 9:22pm

I feel that it really depends. In my case, having my religious status listed as Atheist helped. My wife actually initiated conversation with me because she saw I was Atheist (she actually messaged me first, before I came across her profile). She is Wiccan and felt that I would be more understanding toward her beliefs and not try to constantly convert or condemn her like all the Christians she met. Theology was actually one of the first subjects we discussed, and I feel that having that understanding right up front was a good thing.

I can see both sides of the coin here though. On one hand, advertising your lack of belief may cause people to instantly pass you over, leaving you only with those that are like-minded on more open. On the other hand, if you keep it on the low, you could meet someone that will see you for who you are, and then may form a better perception of non-belief once they know you secret.

My gut tells me not to hide who you are, but at the same time I can see why you might not want to make it your defining aspect right from the start.

Cheers!

Comment by Terri Lunt on September 6, 2011 at 12:22am



Attraction for me is not only physical but mental, before getting married, while crawling around dating sites I initiated conversation with a guy purely because he was atheist, which means for me a “thinker”. I would start any relationship with honesty and part of who I am is being atheist. I suggest you do the same .

Comment by Artor on September 6, 2011 at 1:16am

If it's important to you, you should note it. If it isn't that big a deal, then don't. Someone who lists themselves as atheist is not necessarily a strong thinker, and is just as likely to be an asshole as anyone else, but as a criteria, it can at least save you from having to deal with the Xtian sheep.

Comment by Lindsey Sayre on September 6, 2011 at 5:32am

Personally, I would make the fact known. If someone isn't going to take the time to get to know you just because you're atheist, they're not worth it. I also agree with the point Artor made.

Comment by HonestDiscussioner on September 6, 2011 at 2:22pm

Part of me says that it is best to get it out in the open. Most people would prefer to date someone who shares their general belief system.

 

The other part of me says you could be missing out on someone great, but the more I think about that, the less likely that seems. You'd have to convert them, or live with a religious person your whole life, figuring out what to teach the kids. It's possible, but unlikely.

I'd say wear it proud. Just don't make it sound like you're judging others.

Comment by Helen Pluckrose on September 6, 2011 at 2:57pm

I would mention it. If having a belief in deities is a big no-no for you (as it would be for me) then it is important to specify.

Comment by Niki Liu on September 7, 2011 at 1:33am

I think it's better to be honest about your non-religious beliefs from the get-go.  You'll avoid misunderstandings that way.

Comment by Gloria Stevens on September 7, 2011 at 2:02pm

Thanks everyone.  You know, come to think of it, I really do base my thinking on evolution.  I actually would want the same wave length for a significant other.  So I'm going to go ahead and expand on this on my profile. 

My other wish is a Rottweiler lover, but that's another site - LOL. 

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