Suddenly it's like I've been vacuum sealed in a place without all logic. My library is all Christian fiction, which I should've figured as it's a "Family" library. It's insane. I have to step up my game or get ready for intense verbal combat if I'm going to get out of this with my sanity intact. Either that or harbor my six years of Drama club to hone my lying skills. If all else fails, I'm starting a Secular Students group at college.
But how am I supposed to continue lying? I mean, yes, I keep holding the greater good of knowledge out in front of me like a meal for the starving, but it's getting harder. (And I apologize for the ranting nature of this blog post, but it's needed.) This is the only place that I can fully vent my frustrations about how narrow-minded and biased my entire world has become. Thank Reason I'm visiting home this weekend to see all the normal people in my family.
But to the other "closeted" or forced atheists out there, doesn't it just wrench your guts when watching some of the antics of the religious lately? I went to church this Sunday, as per my aunt's orders, and the smiling and beaming faces of the parents and the entire congregation as they sent their children into the "All the Children Come Unto Me" class was just sickening. And I might be the only one who thought it was horrifying, but watching the priest use the children as tables to "hold up his Bible" just made me furious. Everyone else thought it was cute.
Perhaps it's just because the rage is building inside of me, and clouding my judgement, but everything about this whole community just feels fake and plasticine all so the populace can scrounge for brownie points for St. Peter.
The cynic in me is quite poetic these days. Christ. I almost got caught just now. In a way this has been my "secret rebellion" of sorts, as they seem to think they've successfully converted me.
I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting and being emotional right now. All I know is I feel sick.
Sorry if this is just a waste of your time, I just needed a space to vent without being coerced into prayer.