10 Telltale Signs That You Are an Atheist. From Conservapedia.

Because every atheist is a white male nerd...

10 telltale signs you are on your way to becoming a lonely atheist nerd

1. When you are at your girlfriend's house, you cannot stop scowling at her mother's pictures of Jesus (Please see: The atheist and evolutionist helpline).

2. You own more pocket protectors than shirts.

3. You tell your girlfriend that she is merely a result of blind random natural forces and there is nothing particularly special about her. Of course, this lets her know that you are an insensitive liar and she starts crying (see: Atheism and deception).

4. You spend countless hours arguing with your girlfriend on the true definition of atheism and insist you are not diluting the definition of atheism given in most encyclopedias of p...

5. You fly into an uncontrollable rage when your girlfriend brings up shockofgod's question.

6. After your last girlfriend dumped you, you reminded yourself that you still have a lot of atheist subscribers at your YouTube atheism channel and your Reddit atheist friend list is quite large. In addition, your mother no longer believes you are going to get married.

7. You try to convince every woman you meet to visit atheists' websites. You do this because you are mad at Conservapedia for pointing out that the web traffic tracking companies Alexa and Quantcast indicate that a majority of web visitors to prominent atheists' websites are males (Please see: Atheism appears to be significantly less appealing to women).

8. You think Richard Dawkins has machismo or try to debate Conservapedians on the true definition of the word machismo despite the definitions the Merriam Webster dictionary offers.

9. American atheists are significantly less likely to get married than the general population.[1] When you had problems finding a wife, you refused to consider the possibility that you could be the problem and instead blamed it on womankind.

10. Your girlfriend tells you that there needs to be better communication between you two so you buy her a Star Trek USB Communicatorthat will allow you two to "Stay connected Starfleet style" via Skype and IM programs.[2] You also suggest that you and your girlfriend work on Wikipedia articles together. Wikipedia, which was co-founded by the atheist Jimmy Wales, has an atheist nerd infestation problem and this indisputable fact will be alluded to shortly through an impeccable source. Hint concerning the impeccable source: his song is THE definitive song on nerds and nerd behavior.

Attention male atheists! Nerds obviously have a significantly less likelihood of marrying. Lo and behold, as noted earlier, American atheists are significantly less likely to get married than the general population.[3] Click HERE to read more about atheist male nerds. Also, please see Atheism appears to be significantly less appealing to women and Atheism and marriageability

Important addendum! If you are an atheist male and you carefully examined the 10 telltale signs you are on your way to becoming a lonely atheist nerd and told yourself: "I didn't match any of them therefore I am not an atheist nerd and atheists are not more prone to being nerds", that is a clear and strong warning sign you are an atheist nerd! Only atheists who are nerds take atheist nerd tests! Real men don't take atheist nerd tests! They are too busy making a difference in the world. If you are an atheist and you took this test, please see: The atheist and evolutionist helpline

 and also:

According to the web traffic tracking firm Quantcast, the following racial groups have below average interest in the website richarddawkins.net: Asians, Hispanics, and African Americans.[3] In addition, according to the web traffic tracking firm Quantcast, the following racial groups have below average interest in the website samharris.org: Asians, Hispanics, and African Americans.[4] This data combined with the aforementioned data, suggest that the New Atheist movement (which appears to largely appeal to white, male, atheist nerds) is significantly less appealing to racial minorities.

According to the website tracking firms Alexa and Quantcast women frequent the website of Samharris.org and richarddawkins.net significantly less than men.[6][7][8][9] Apparently, women are not particularly interested in the words of white, atheist, male nerds. Perhaps, this partly explains the two divorces of Richard Dawkins, although certainly his abrasiveness no doubt was the dominant factor (please see: Women's views of Richard Dawkins and Atheism and marriageability ).


Views: 281

Comment by choSenfroZen on June 7, 2011 at 8:41pm
wow , lighten up, it is a humour posting.
Comment by oneinfinity on June 7, 2011 at 8:55pm
who me? that was a joke lol
Comment by Derek on June 7, 2011 at 9:01pm

It's mildly amusing and strange in that it makes the corners of your lips curve up for anout half a second until you realise that it isn't really that funny at all.


Comment by Mike Glickman on June 7, 2011 at 9:39pm
Wow. That is hilarious. In fairness, I am a white male nerd. But I am married and do not own any pocket protectors. Like Dawkins though:)
Comment by surgoshan on June 7, 2011 at 11:58pm

It's amazing what passes for humor among the humorless.

Comment by Arcus on June 8, 2011 at 3:15am

"so a clear sign that atheists DID take bullshit seriously, would be women swooning?"

Yup. :D

"What does that say about what you think women like?  Dumb theists?"

Usually sports jocks, but that's kinda synonymous with 'dumb theists'. ;)

Comment by David Paul Smith on June 8, 2011 at 4:00am
This a joke, right.
Comment by Caesar MacEntire on June 8, 2011 at 5:26am
I happen to religiously follow Conservapedia, when I'm not strangling bears and raiding merchant ships with my fellow pirates.

Just a note, one of the top Google results for Atheism is the Conservapedia page. This MUST be fixed.
Comment by Sarah on June 8, 2011 at 9:50am
Some good hacker needs to fix that site up a bit. Especially the part where they write that the theory of relativity is pseudoscience....
Comment by Bill on June 8, 2011 at 10:59am
the point of the article was to get a stab in at the guy who dumped her.


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