In honor of Gay Pride Month- a Fight with my Mother!

So, happy gay pride month to everyone, gay or not. 

As I gear up for the Laramie Project (in rural Texas no less) this October I have to say my awareness of homosexual rights (or lack there of) has been weighing in heavily on my mind.

I tried to alleviate this with some humor and posted this video on my facebook:


It's silly and harmless. Or so I thought, but then again I live in Texas. I got an email from my mother:
"Oh Carol, you are so gay ridiculous."

My parents are both devout Catholics but my dad has actually gotten fairly progressive in the past few years so much in fact that he actually said he supports gay marriage. 

I guess I thought my mother had softened around the edges too, so when I called her to be the good daughter I am I laughed gently while asking her what "gay ridiculous" meant.


You would have thought I was pissing on a crucifix with the way she suddenly (and angrily) lashed out at me.Her arguments came fast and furious.

  • This is not my battle since I am not gay.
  • Gays rub their sexuality in our faces
  • Straights don't rub their sexuality in gays faces.
  • They should be fighting their own battles.
  • People see what I post.

Aha! The last one really sealed the deal for me. I had to tell my mom that as far as what people think of me, if they are against basic civil liberties then I don't give a damn. Straights are overt about their orientation, just see any blockbuster romantic comedy or sitcom. I also pointed out that there shouldn't BE a battle for the gays to fight, but since the straights have made it their business to oppress, I am making it mine to fight.


This brand of ignorance coming from the people I love makes me all the more adamant about my atheism. Sure, people may want us to shut up since we aren't in the majority, but we are right, and their small minded oppressiveness needs to stop even if that means ruining their stupid game of make-believe.



Views: 154

Comment by Lindsey on June 5, 2011 at 3:20am

Gay couples doing the exact same things in public that straight couples do is in no way "flaunting" our sexuality or "rubbing it in their faces". I have every right to kiss, hug, hold hands with, etc. in public, just like heterosexual couples do every single day without a second thought.

Everytime a straight person wears a wedding ring, displays a picture of them and their spouse, holds hands with their spouse/partner (or kisses,  or hugs, or shows any kind of romantic affection towards them at all), or even just mentions what they and their spouse did over the week end, they are expressing their sexual orientation for the entire world to see. If straight people can do it whenever and wherever they want, then no one has the right to tell me that I can't do those same things with my girlfriend, whenever and wherever I want.

Comment by Lindsey on June 5, 2011 at 3:22am
This hypocritical double standard just really pisses me off. I don't throw a bitch fit everytime I see some heterosexual teen couple eating eachothers faces in public. If it offends you, then no ones forcing you to look at it. There are plenty of other things to stare at instead.
Comment by eugene on June 5, 2011 at 5:13am
So who decides the sexual orientation of others? So that if heterosexuals have the liberty to flaunt their orientation in public, who are they to pass judgment on minorities? I think it is a battle that is constantly being waged by the majority theists/heterosexuals against the minority atheists/homosexuals and other minorities. It is not the duty of an individual or a group to determine the sexual or religious orientation of others. If they do or attempt to do that would amount to oppression.
Comment by Heather Spoonheim on June 5, 2011 at 6:35am
Most would say I qualify as bisexual but I say I'm a sexual orientation agnostic; I can't imagine what it would be like to be attracted to most healthy specimens of one sex or the other, I just come to really like certain individuals.  So when I hear about 'gay cures/rehab camps' I just shudder.  Imagine if there was a summer camp that promised to 'cure' your children of atheist tendencies?  There are such camps for gay children, and their operations constitute a fucking felony - but religious freedoms allow them to continue.  blah, now my morning is sour.
Comment by Akshay Bist on June 5, 2011 at 6:37am

As long as its consensual why should anyone care?

Comment by Sarah on June 5, 2011 at 7:07am

I actually fought with my mother on this subject too.( She is an orthodox Jew ) No matter what I say she still sticks to her bigoted opinions and it's really drives me crazy and makes me sad.

This brand of ignorance coming from the people I love makes me all the more adamant about my atheism.

I feel the same! 

On a brighter note, this Friday is the gay pride parade in Tel Aviv, so that should be fun.

Comment by Robert Karp on June 5, 2011 at 8:52am
You gay atheists have chosen the double whammy of persecution and intolerance but I say more power to you!!!! I would be interested to hear from you and others, do you find you get more abuse for being gay or an atheist?
Comment by Justin Humphrey on June 5, 2011 at 10:54am

That video was great, I posted it also.

It really is a shame how ignorant people are. They don't allow slavery and fight for women rights, but they oppress gays still! How ridiculous can we be!

Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on June 5, 2011 at 5:35pm

@ Karp. I don't know anyone that chooses to be gay or straight or atheist or theist. Sexuality is biology and anti-theology is conclusion. 


@ Author- At any rate, I feel ya! Thank you for sharing.

I live in the Bay Area. I'm atheist because the church told me my gay cousin was going to burn in hell for being gay and I realized that something wasn't quite adding up. I'm happily married to a man after a sexual history of dating other men, so I self identify as  straightish until a few too many shots. :)

People like me and in my circle are called fag-hags. My husband and best friends are fag-stags. (Apologies in advance if that offends anyone. People in the Bay Area also say 'tranny' without any malice. It's part of a culture formed by the people who actually are gay/trans and actually do live here. I do not ever use any slur or any slang in a sexually derogatory way. This is just a label on us. It's just what we are called, so I'm using it here for a lack of a better word.)

We are the straight minority in an overwhelmingly gay culture and couldn't be happier. I go to night clubs where there are transex bathrooms and that's not just an isolated thing. I also lived in parts of Thailand where one out of every eight women around you didn't.. um.. start off that way. I lived in the world's leading gender-reassignment capital and loved it. My life experience is very, very open except for a brief, horrible period living in rural Nevada. So fight their own battles?

Lady, this IS my battle.

This is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue.

And last time I checked, where you stick your penis doesn't make you any more or less human.

Hell, where you stick your penis shouldn't have ANY legal reflection, as long as it's into another consenting adult.

(Though I do argue that when Ted Haggardy got caught doing crystal off a gay hooker, his tax sheltered church should have gotten sued for.. something. Hell. I dunno. Misrepresentation of services?  False advertising? The guy should have at least had his health insurance revoked.) 

But anyway. 

This is my battle because I'm an American.

And as an American, we look like asshats every time we go into an independent nation and demand they evolve up from their barbaric, backwards ways. Quite frankly, Fox News gives enough air time to people that are only a ten gallon hat away from a turban who basically support the same rights on gender, bigotry, ect than the people they are trying to force into civilization. I'm sick of having to explain to my in-laws that  not everyone in America is a moron or a hypocrite. 


But mostly? 

Because when someone tells you what you can do with your reproductive parts, it opens the door for them telling me what I can do with mine. And that scares me. A whole lot. 

In fact, I don't want any government agency telling me at any time what I can or cannot do with my body as long as I'm not harming anyone else. In fact, I think the 21st Amendment makes that pretty fucking clear, as if the 1st Amendment didn't already. 


And also.

Because it always amazes me how much time these self proclaimed straight guys spend on obsessing about what other men do behind closed doors. 

And pervy old men of any flavor creep me out. 

Comment by Lindsey on June 5, 2011 at 6:30pm
@ Misty, that is so tue! These 'straight' religious fundamentalists spend more time talking about other people's sexual practices than anyone else. It's pretty much all they can talk about these days. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that?


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