Do you feel yourself holding back in a conversation because you don't want to sound overly 'smart' or offending the opposing side? I sometimes find myself doing so. Sometimes, I have to watch my language because, let's face it, some people 'don't know them big words.' I also find myself holding back because I don't want to upset anyone or make anyone feel as if I'm picking on them. I see myself doing this all the time...


A friend of mine asked for facebook prayers [I have several who do] because her daughter was not sleeping through the night and was keeping my friend from sleeping. [Personally, this was another selfish prayer request to the big dog upstairs.] A few people were piping in that would pray, the usual responses from theists. However, as a mother of a child who also doesn't like to sleep, I felt the need to inform her of my knowledge & experiences. 


"We had (sometimes we still do) this problem with [my daughter]. I found it easier to pretend I'm sleeping with her. When she was in her crib, I would put the railing down and 'sleep' with my head beside her head. After she fell asleep, I'd sneak out. It may take some more time, but she'll eventually sleep through the night!"


Immediately after my posts, one of her friends posted this:


"girl just give her a childrens benadryl. it will solve all your problems. only do it for about three nights and then try it without. its totally safe i asked [my son's] doctor. otherwise youll end up like me trying to get your SIX year old to sleep alone all night lol good luck!"


The [student] psychologist in me came out. Medicating your extremely young child because you're too [in my opinion] lazy to correct the behavioral problem is just wrong. I couldn't believe the doctor actually prescribed it. I did not want to sound like a total bitch to this person I don't even know or upset my friend. So, I simply replied:


"I have to disagree with you there. Medicating a child just to get them to sleep wouldn't be the way I'd go."


In turn, she replied:

"i tried EVERYTHING else. some kids just need a little help and a small dose of an antihistamine is totally harmless."


Harmless? I doubt it. I don't know of any medicine without some sort of side effect. I have my doubts that her child had a sleep disorder, which may call for some sort of medication. For a situation like this, medication should not be given unless the child has seen a doctor who specializes in sleep disorders. Otherwise, just giving your kid some Benadryl because you can't handle some late night crying is just plain lazy parenting. 


...but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Instead, my response was:


"I think we'll have to agree to disagree but this website is kind of where I'm coming from on the situation. http://www.professorshouse .com/Family/Babies/Article s/Using-Drugs-to-Put-Your- Baby-to-Sleep/ "


I hope by reading the website, she learns more about my position and may even rethink her own. Yes, I held back in my response, keeping it straight to the point. 


..but I keep thinking. Should we hold back? It's the same when we are speaking to theists about religion. Although some of us can be aggressive, many of us still hold back in every day conversation. To make things clearer, I'm not talking about when someone says 'I'll pray for you' but more like when someone is actually stating false doctrines, false history, or something just plain ignorant or immoral ect ect.

Views: 47

Comment by Brandon on May 19, 2011 at 9:39pm
I find myself doing the same thing whether online or in day to day interpersonal interactions. Thanks for posting such a great question. I often wonder if my "holding back" comes from a history of enjoying a good debate or a matter of fact response which causes some people to immediately become defensive as though I was attacking them (or their intelligence). In short, I didn't want to be "the jerk" that always corrected people.
Comment by Doug Reardon on May 19, 2011 at 11:12pm
If you want to lose a friend, tell them how to raise their children.
Comment by Walter Maki on May 19, 2011 at 11:37pm

Sounds to me Scarlette that you handled the situation in a dignified manner.

I have been down that parenting road with my three children.  There is no short cuts when you want to raise a mentally and physically healthy child.

Comment by Scarlette Blues on May 20, 2011 at 12:46pm

@Brandon- "I don't want to be the jerk that always corrects people" My thoughts, exactly. I don't want to be labeled as that person but then again, I don't want people running around spewing false information either. It's kind of like when someone says "evolution is just a theory" I feel like a smart ass for explaining to the person that there is a difference of definitions between "conspiracy theory" and "scientific theory" and go through all that nonsense WHICH SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS ANYWAYS! ...but I digress. I've always been labeled as the "smart kid" or "nerd" but I don't want it to be said, "Oh that's just Alisha..She's just another smart ass atheist who thinks she's knows it all..." /vent


@Doug- Agreed. That is a pretty quick way to lose a friend.


@Walter- Thank you for your response :) & you are absolutely correct, there are no short cuts when it comes to raising a kid. Everything you say and do makes a difference.


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