I came out to my family yesterday
(I have to use my phone to write this so excuse any grammatical errors)
Yesterday was a pretty exciting Mother's day in my family. They found out one of their own was an atheist. The conversation started with the killing of Bin Ladin which led the topic of religion. I found it to be the perfect opportunity to voice my opinion. My aunt brought up the radical muslims and their violence. I quickly pointed out that Islam is still a young religion and that Christianity went through the same stages in their early years. I mentioned that it was just part of the evolution of religion. Oh no, I thought, here it comes....
"I didn't come from no monkey!!" Exclaimed my aunt
From there, I tried to explain evolution in the simplest terms. (We share a common ancestor with chimps and bonobos, 99% of our dna..the gene that fused...chemistry, biology, and other sciences all explain evolution...blah blah blah blah blah...)
I quickly realized there was no educating the unwilling. It went right over their heads. My aunt quickly went back to the Bible, asking what about Jesus dieing for our sins. I said, that as of now, I do not see enough evidence outside of the Bible to prove that Jesus actual living.
This conversation continued until finally it was my aunt, my uncle, my nana, my sister and my aunt's uber christian friend (so dedicated, she remained a virgin until she was 35 and finally married lol)
The Bible was brought out to the table and I started to point out the things I found wrong with it. I brought up the final tale of Noah where his son sees him naked and then is sentenced to slavery for doing so. My sister was said that Noah was molested by his son...LOL so my aunt read the passage outloud. It plainly said the son "saw the nakedness" and my sister said well, it's insinuating that he was molested. I quickly pointed out that this was not the case...On the sentencing of his son for slavery..I pointed out that Yahweh saw Noah as the most righteous man on Earth. Then, I asked if she thought slavery was immoral. She had no answer and said that Noah was not God. I could have asked how Noah had the power to sentence his son's generations to slavery but I decided to leave it at that....
The most heartbreaking part was when my Nana asked out all the other people who had died and how she wanted to see her mother again. My Nana teared up which made me do so too. One thing that tears me up is seeing my Nana upset and this was the moment I dreaded the most. I tried to comfort her by saying that I truely hope there is an afterlife but no one really knows what happens after we die. Then my aunt's friend piped into and said "those tears are Jesus calling you back" I immediatly dried my eyes and told her no it wasn't and that I was an emotional person because of my personality not because of Jesus' calling me back.
The conversation lasted about 6 hours. Yes, 6 hours...I was fun. I got to pick their brains and hopefully, they learned something from me. Here are a few more of the things I heard
"You have to have more faith in evolution than you do God" my sister who anthropology class "proved" evolution wrong to her
"I will pray for you everday ON MY KNEES!" My aunt
"Jesus loves you. He still wants you back"
"I ain't no monkey" several times, mainly from my aunt
There was so much more to the conversation. I may write some more about it once my laptop is fixed.
In the end, my family still loves me and still accepts me. I dont think this really changed anything other than a few more prayers for me. I feel a lot better and a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. :)
Now, on to the fundie side of my family!!
Yesterday was a pretty exciting Mother's day in my family. They found out one of their own was an atheist. The conversation started with the killing of Bin Ladin which led the topic of religion. I found it to be the perfect opportunity to voice my opinion. My aunt brought up the radical muslims and their violence. I quickly pointed out that Islam is still a young religion and that Christianity went through the same stages in their early years. I mentioned that it was just part of the evolution of religion. Oh no, I thought, here it comes....
"I didn't come from no monkey!!" Exclaimed my aunt
From there, I tried to explain evolution in the simplest terms. (We share a common ancestor with chimps and bonobos, 99% of our dna..the gene that fused...chemistry, biology, and other sciences all explain evolution...blah blah blah blah blah...)
I quickly realized there was no educating the unwilling. It went right over their heads. My aunt quickly went back to the Bible, asking what about Jesus dieing for our sins. I said, that as of now, I do not see enough evidence outside of the Bible to prove that Jesus actual living.
This conversation continued until finally it was my aunt, my uncle, my nana, my sister and my aunt's uber christian friend (so dedicated, she remained a virgin until she was 35 and finally married lol)
The Bible was brought out to the table and I started to point out the things I found wrong with it. I brought up the final tale of Noah where his son sees him naked and then is sentenced to slavery for doing so. My sister was said that Noah was molested by his son...LOL so my aunt read the passage outloud. It plainly said the son "saw the nakedness" and my sister said well, it's insinuating that he was molested. I quickly pointed out that this was not the case...On the sentencing of his son for slavery..I pointed out that Yahweh saw Noah as the most righteous man on Earth. Then, I asked if she thought slavery was immoral. She had no answer and said that Noah was not God. I could have asked how Noah had the power to sentence his son's generations to slavery but I decided to leave it at that....
The most heartbreaking part was when my Nana asked out all the other people who had died and how she wanted to see her mother again. My Nana teared up which made me do so too. One thing that tears me up is seeing my Nana upset and this was the moment I dreaded the most. I tried to comfort her by saying that I truely hope there is an afterlife but no one really knows what happens after we die. Then my aunt's friend piped into and said "those tears are Jesus calling you back" I immediatly dried my eyes and told her no it wasn't and that I was an emotional person because of my personality not because of Jesus' calling me back.
The conversation lasted about 6 hours. Yes, 6 hours...I was fun. I got to pick their brains and hopefully, they learned something from me. Here are a few more of the things I heard
"You have to have more faith in evolution than you do God" my sister who anthropology class "proved" evolution wrong to her
"I will pray for you everday ON MY KNEES!" My aunt
"Jesus loves you. He still wants you back"
"I ain't no monkey" several times, mainly from my aunt
There was so much more to the conversation. I may write some more about it once my laptop is fixed.
In the end, my family still loves me and still accepts me. I dont think this really changed anything other than a few more prayers for me. I feel a lot better and a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. :)
Now, on to the fundie side of my family!!
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Comment by Jake W. Andrews on May 9, 2011 at 11:43pm -
That is fucking awesome! Congrats on coming out. I have yet to do such a courageous thing, and I love to hear stories of this magnitude about people sticking up for themselves. I love it, and I hope you put up with the long emails of bible verses, and the christian book Christmas presents. Cheers.
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Comment by Scarlette Blues on May 10, 2011 at 12:26am -
Thank you every one! I've received so many responses and I appreciate all of them. Due to my latop being a piece of crap, I have to reply by phone and cannot respond to everyone.
Someone brought up vicarious death and hitchens...I did mention something along those lines. The topic of Eve sinning and women paying for that by having pained childbirth. I asked my aunt if she thought it was fair to suffer for someone's else's crime...She didn't give her own thoughts but blamed it on God's plan.
This side of the family is non-demoninational but before mega-churches with rock music, they attended Southern Baptist churches...My father's side of the family is creationist-type. They scare me lol
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Comment by Scarlette Blues on May 10, 2011 at 12:30am
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...and yes, it does feel pretty damn great!
Btw, I plan on educating my aunt on evolution. She's been out of school for a long time and it's time she gets up to speed. I think I'll buy her a few good books for Christmas :)
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Comment by Scarlette Blues on May 10, 2011 at 12:46am
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@ Joli- I really didn't want my nana to find out. I don't think she think I'm going hell but I know it saddens her to know I do not believe. It just shows how emotionally attached the religious are.
@Reg- I think my aunt really just wants to understand me. Her friend, on the otherhand, was a bit aggressive at times. At point her friend said that it sounded like I was learning because I continue to question and deep down I knew "He" was still there. My aunt told her no, that's not the case. I've always been a person who loved to learn and it had nothing to do with my spirituality. I have a feeling there will be more interesting convo with my aunt.
Also, I do have to thank you guys for a lot of it! Over the past few months, I've been reading so many blogs, discussions, and debates. I've learned a lot from everyone and because of it, I went into this being prepared. :)
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Comment by Heather Spoonheim on May 10, 2011 at 1:35am -
Congratulations.
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Comment by randy brooks on May 10, 2011 at 1:59am -
Thank you. Your bravery and compassion are beautiful.
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Comment by Discern on May 10, 2011 at 2:00am -
Joseph Breton: You kidding? That's a bonus to have people asking about your atheism. I think it would really suck if once I 'come out' to my family, they just ignore the subject altogether and refuse to talk about it. If that were the case, there would be almost no point in coming out.
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Comment by Michael Andrews on May 10, 2011 at 2:02am -
Coming Out as an Atheist isn't for sissies! BRAVO, Scarlette!
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Comment by bay_naam on May 10, 2011 at 4:51am -
Dear you knocked the minds of your relatives slowly and gently. keep tryin.
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Comment by Luka Rek on May 10, 2011 at 4:57am -
I think one of the things which should definitely be said when "coming out" is one very simple thing. It has nothing to do with science nor any of that but will, for that same reason, seem much closer and have more of an impact on the more religiously-prone individuals. You say: "If I am a good person, does it matter if I have no belief in a particular god? Even if god exists, he must know I am a good person and if that is not enough for him to save me, then I do not want to be saved." `nuff said
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