Contest: Best after Rapture bumper sticker or response

Well the 21st of May is coming upon us quickly (of course there is also a back-up December rapture date). What can we say to those that are left behind? I mean other than asking them to name 1 person that was raptured.
I can start this off with a few that come to mind:

#1 Notice: The rapture has been cancelled as the lord could not find any worthy souls.
#2 Apologies. The rapture has been indefinitely delayed due to interference from excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
#3 The rapture really did happen.   I guess that means you are not worthy enough.  Do you get 2nd chances?  You didn't forget to pray did you? 
#4 Still Here! I guess either you are not worthy or maybe he does not exist.
#5 What no rapture? What are your excuses this time?

#6 What, no rapture? Damn it!  And we really prayed that you folks would be leaving.   I want my money back.

#7 Rapture didn't happen?  You would think he would have shouted very clearly the exact date and time for such an important event?

#8 Still here?  I told you masturbating while praying would fuck it up.

Come on. You can do better than this. I need a good laugh.

Views: 82

Tags: No, Rapture

Comment by A. Dave on April 29, 2011 at 10:29pm
"You too?"
Comment by Bill on April 29, 2011 at 10:36pm
I had a Rapture once but surgery fixed it.
Comment by Gary C on April 29, 2011 at 10:43pm

Planning on imminent rapture?  Since you won't be needing it, can I have your stuff?  You do have faith don't you?

 

 

Comment by Greg Gorey on April 29, 2011 at 10:54pm
I think my idea is still the best. have a meteor heading for earth and raptor jesus and other raptors ascending to heaven with the words "veloca Rapture" in big letters on the bottom.
Comment by Jim Scotti on April 29, 2011 at 11:20pm
Perhaps you misunderstood, he meant Raptor, you were supposed to go bird watching.
Comment by Walter Maki on April 29, 2011 at 11:29pm

Got Rapture? Guess Not, Next Patient Please.

 

@ Jim- bird watching - lmao

Comment by Brian Iverson on April 29, 2011 at 11:46pm
Alright.  Keep it coming.
Comment by Walter Maki on April 30, 2011 at 1:15am

What! You're still here?

Well so much for all that free property I was going to get.

Comment by Discern on April 30, 2011 at 1:31am
Don't worry about the Rapture. If the Tribulation happens, at least it finally proves God exists.

The rapture happened last night. You've been left behind.

If Grandma disappears, I'll know the rapture has happened.
Comment by IEatDinosaurMeat on April 30, 2011 at 3:58am

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