Well the 21st of May is coming upon us quickly (of course there is also a back-up December rapture date). What can we say to those that are left behind? I mean other than asking them to name 1 person that was raptured.
I can start this off with a few that come to mind:
#1 Notice: The rapture has been cancelled as the lord could not find any worthy souls.
#2 Apologies. The rapture has been indefinitely delayed due to interference from excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
#3 The rapture really did happen. I guess that means you are not worthy enough. Do you get 2nd chances? You didn't forget to pray did you?
#4 Still Here! I guess either you are not worthy or maybe he does not exist.
#5 What no rapture? What are your excuses this time?
#6 What, no rapture? Damn it! And we really prayed that you folks would be leaving. I want my money back.
#7 Rapture didn't happen? You would think he would have shouted very clearly the exact date and time for such an important event?
#8 Still here? I told you masturbating while praying would fuck it up.
Come on. You can do better than this. I need a good laugh.